sometimes in the middle of life, it is necessary to dance.
but first, you should know that i can’t dance. and to be honest, i really don’t like to dance. i have no rhythm and my body basically moves like a robot. i am awkward. and its not because i’m self-conscious or care about others watching me- i have no problem making a fool out of myself– it’s just that the kind of dancing that i typically see is really not my style. i am not implying that this kind of dancing is bad or wrong or anything of that nature… what i am saying is that i just can’t get my body to do that. and if you know me at all, you would know that this is absolutely true.
however, i love to watch people dance. it is kind of amazing to me to see the differences in self-expression. and i’d like to think that you can start to know something about a person based on movement—the way they carry themselves.
today was meaningful because i danced.
i had been complaining about not being able to hang out with my friends enough lately due to the demands of my other commitments, and then i decided that i needed to stop making excuses for why i couldn’t have fun. for why i couldn’t relax. my reasons for staying in are of course valid…papers to write, studying to do, and sleep that i am always in need of catching up on…. but i also think it makes sense to sometimes make fun a priority too. and so i did. i spent the night with some of the most amazing people i know. we listened to local music and made jokes about ants (yes, ants) until we crying from laughing so hard.
and then i danced.
but for me, dancing means that i tapped my foot offbeat, i threw my hands in the air, and spun around in circles. yes it sounds silly, but trust me, it looked even sillier. i threw my head around and whipped my hair in every direction like i was some sort of rockstar…but in all actuality most people looked at me like i was some kind of fool. my hair was all in knots. but i don’t mind. and i never mind. because there is no better feeling that being comfortable in your own skin.
and so while others were moving to the beat of the music, i was thrashing my body around.
so….maybe i was’t dancing, maybe i was just being myself.
and that is more important.