wander: (from dictionary.com)
1. to move or travel about, in, or through (a place) without any definite purpose or destination.
2. to go aimlessly, indirectly, or casually; meander.
3. to extend in an irregular course or direction.
i looked up the definition of wander in the dictionary even though i already knew what it meant. while i most definitely intend to use my life to serve a purpose and generally have some sort of direction i am working towards; i think this summer is going to be about wandering. in fact, i will make sure it is.
i have spent the last six years of my life on a schedule. i scheduled time for homework, work, interning, volunteering, occasional work-outs, and spending time with family and friends. i even scheduled free-time. it always felt like i had somewhere to be or something to do which typically works out for me because i like to stay busy. but i have also learned that planning out your whole entire life doesn’t usually work out, nor does it allow for new opportunities or spontaneity. if you are constantly thinking about what you have to do next, it becomes easy to forget to enjoy what you are doing now.
today was meaningful because i decided to take my new job of wandering seriously. and by this, i mean that i fully intend to make as little plans as possible. what i want to do is end up exactly where i end up. even if that final destination includes having no idea where i actually am.
for the last two days, i have woken up at six a.m., gotten ready, and rode the subway downtown. and then i’ve just walked. i window shopped and went into expensive stores where everyone knew i had no intention of buying anything. i went into a cute cupcake shop, just to look…to pay attention to the time it took for all of the little details. my boyfriend and i went into dessert shops for the sole purpose of getting free sniffs. i stumbled across central park and took pictures. i read. i went to grand central station and people watched. i walked.and walked.and walked. aimlessly, irregularly, and happily. i meandered until there were blisters on my feet and i felt like my stomach was eating itself. and then i wandered some more.
of course i will have to make some plans, and because of my internship i will have a semi-schedule to follow. however, in the midst of seizing every moment of this opportunity, it is also my goal to take advantage of having no set destination. it’s a different perspective that i’ve recently stumbled upon, but there’s something wonderful in the feeling that i am not planning my life away.
doing nothing and everything at the same time allows you to do something.
and i really like that.