…and so it began


December 16, 2011:

“we only live once, which means we have to do and be all that we were created to be.  on a daily basis, we have to work to become.  i personally never fulfill my new year’s resolutions so instead, i am committing myself to a year full of meaningful days.  a meaningful day can truly be anything, but for me, that means taking small steps on a daily basis to change the world.  cliche, yes.  impossible, no.”

IMG_6374365 days ago,  i woke up and recognized that my time here is limited. it wasn’t so much a “i am going to die one day” thought, but more so a “i want to use my life well.up.and to the fullest. kind of thought. and in this moment, i began to understand that it was up to me to do it.

i started this blog with the intention of making and recording conscious efforts to spend my days the way i would like to spend my life.  i decided it was time to start taking responsibility for my own life; and for me, this meant becoming the person i said i always wanted to be.  this meant living passionately.  in every way.every.single.day.  it meant learning about problems and world challenges before judging them, before assuming i had the solution, and before criticizing other people’s efforts. it meant spending my money in a more conscious, purposeful way. it meant purchasing goods that are environmentally responsible, sustainable, and friendly.  it meant listening more and talking less. it meant being kind. it meant giving people pieces of my heart. and it meant choosing happiness.

i knew that i wanted my life to change.  what i didn’t know was that it could.

and over the last 365 days, i have learned that if i am ever going to start, the best time is now.  that what you do every day is what makes up your year, your being, and your life. i’ve learned that what you do matters.  that while i would like to save the world, maybe it’s just as important to change someone’s life. and then i’ve also learned that maybe people don’t need you to change their whole lives, but maybe just their day. i’ve learned that people will surprise you and that you’ll find what you’re looking for. i watched my life transform as i began to understand that i am responsible for the way i feel.  that my attitude is my choice. that happiness feels better.  i decided to stop talking about “someday,” “one day,” and “yesterday” and start doing today, in this moment.  because if i know anything, it is that someday will never come if you don’t go out and chase it. i started to dream bigger.

in 12 months i visited ten states,  graduated with my Master’s degree in Social Work, completed two internships, spent a summer getting lost in new york city and started my career.  i successfully surprised two different people and began to understand that family is the best kind of gift you can give.  i ate cupcakes. lots of cupcakes. and then i decided to commit to living a healthier lifestyle.  i decided to give up short term gratification for longer term achievements. i let love be more important than the anger i wanted to hold on to.  i forgave people who were not sorry. and i said sorry when i was wrong. and i learned to pay attention to the small things. in 8,760 hours i’ve tried to find ways to make the world feel better through random acts of kindness, common courtesy gestures, and choosing to be kinder than necessary.  and in this time, i’ve been reminded that the acts may not doing anything for the greater good, but i’ve also put my faith in believing that what the world could use is some heart. some love. some kind gestures. and so i did them anyway. and in 525,600 seconds i’ve let people change my life.  i’ve saw people struggle. and i’ve learned why the do. i saw the impact of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. i’ve witnessed resiliency and strength. i’ve devoted my time to learning about who is homeless and why, and what this means. i’ve expanded my knowledge about mental illness and the people it affects. i’ve learned to work alongside the people i am so passionate about.

and in just one day, i changed my life.  and it all began with the decision to try.

365 days ago, i was waiting for my life to start. but today i understand that

life is now.

i said that i wanted to become.  what i know is that i’m not there yet, but i’m here.  right here.

this life is yours, what are you going to make of it?

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