i was standing in an elevator, going up.
on the third floor, an older man walked in. khaki pants, blue plaid shirt, and gray hair. i’d guess he was around sixty years old. i offered a smile and he broke the ever-too-often elevator silence with a ‘hello, how is your day going?”
“pretty good. it’s going by really fast, so that’s nice,” i said.
‘yes, that’s good’ he responded, ‘ but i just worry it will all go by too fast. i’m afraid i’ll miss a lot of things.”
then it was the fifth floor, my next stop. and that was it. a two second exchange with a person i’d never met. and probably wouldnt’ see again.
except that wasn’t it. his short response replayed over in my mind throughout the day and i couldn’t help but feel guilty for all the time i’ve wished away…waiting for five years from now when i feel more established, two years from now when my student loans are all paid off, and a few weeks from now when i am celebrating some of my friends’ weddings. even five hours from now when i could go home and take a nap after a long day. i’ve found that the anticipation of anxiously awaiting the future often makes it easy to forget to appreciate where you are.
i know i’ve talked about time before in previous posts, but in my life, it is always something that i need to be reminded of. because the thing about time is that it just passes. for good or for bad, it takes away minutes as often as it gives them. in the days that fly by too quickly in hours spent of celebration, laughter, and growth. and in the hours that pass by too slowly while grieving and trying to find a new way. as long as it can sometimes feel, i don’t think it will ever seem like enough. you see, it is both ours and not ours. regardless of what you believe, i don’t think we have that much control over the amount of time we are given. we do however, have control over what we do with that time.
and i think that’s important.
in the same way that time is not yours, it’s also yours to make the most of.
and while you are here, on this earth, i hope you make someone smile. i hope you forgive someone when it’s the hardest thing to do, and i hope you say you are sorry when you’re wrong. and with the time you are given, i hope you find the things that you love and spend it with people that help you to become a better person. i hope you say ‘i love you’ every chance you get, and i hope you wear that expensive perfume you’ve been saving up. and in the amount of hours.minutes.seconds. you have, i hope you take risks, go on adventures, and eat good food. i hope you laugh until you cry and dance even if you don’t know how to. i hope you help when you can and that you replace quick judgements with attempts to understand. and with your time, i hope you find yourself trying new things and growing in whatever way that you can. i hope you change someone’s life and find the one thing you are really good at.
i hope you look forward to the future while taking every bit of this moment in.