november 28, 2014 was one for the books.
in fact, it will go down as one of my most favorite beginnings of the grand adventure we are about to embark on.
there are so many beautiful words to say about this day and at the same time there aren’t enough words to capture it all. i can tell you that for a moment time stopped and the world slowed down; and i couldn’t quite tell if the experience was real or not real. and as magical and momentous as this day was, i believe that all of the days leading up to this one special day are the ones that count. i think it is easy to become so focused on the engagement and often accompanying ring that we lose sight of what the commitment signifies. in this short month, i’ve already learned how easy it is to be tempted by the commercialization of engagements, weddings, and material demonstrations of love. and from my perspective, these things serve as distractions from what it really is all about.
what i know is that our love is much more than our breathtaking engagement story and undeniably beautiful diamond.
so i’m not going to tell you about our engagement, but i will tell you about our love.
because i’ve always believed that love exists in the details.
you might know that we fell in love on a rock in the middle of a lake the summer after we graduated from high school. we spent those days making each other mixed tapes with all of our favorite country songs and writing each other letters. four years of long distance resulted in hours of telephone conversations, weekend visits, and leaves and seashells sent by mail. neither of us could have ever guessed that our love would take us to 11 different countries, 24 states, and five different places of residence. adventures of zip-lining in the rainforest and in between mountains; parasailing and snorkeling in the ocean, visiting wonders of the world, napping in parks, drinking lemonade on rooftops, and having picnics at the lake. you might know that we broke up once during our eight years and that he sent me my favorite flowers on valentines day even though we weren’t dating. you also might know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out from your chest when separated from your soulmate. it felt like that without him. but that experience taught me that love does not get lost. in all of the right ways, it will come back to you. after 10 months we met up in costa rica and picked up from the very last word we left off on. my plane was ten hours late and he waited at the airport for me, hand-picked flowers in his hand. and when we are cold, we always make sure that our bare feet are touching; i think that’s important. i edit his papers and he makes me spreadsheets. you should probably know about our not-so-secret book club and weekly budget committee meetings.
i’ll tell you about the crooked smirk he gets on his face right before he says something ornery and the scar he has on his nose from his childhood. i’ll tell you that he’s the greatest of planners although not the best of organizers. i can tell you about his patience and the way his eyes go soft after hearing another person’s story. the kindness in his voice when offering assurance.
i’ll tell you about him and his thoughtfulness.
the warm cup of tea next to my favorite book that he has ready for me when i get out of the shower. the silly imitations he performs and the kiddish jokes he tells because he knows they will make me laugh. the formal requests he makes for brunch dates and surprises that consist of picnics, sailing lessons, and road trips. i’ll tell you about his heart; the meals he buys for the people he doesn’t know and the good deeds he performs without telling a single soul. the 13 hour drive he made to ask my grandmother for her blessing with our engagement. he’s shown me that there is comfort in sharing all of the senseless details of your life with someone, not because they necessarily matter, but because someone cares enough to listen to them all. one month later and i can’t help but get excited that i get to spend my life with the boy whose named i carved in the cement outside of my dorm freshman year of college.
i know that love is different things for different people. but for all of us, i think love is something that challenges you to become a better person and makes it possible to live out all of the good you have within you. one of the greatest gifts i’ve received from this relationship is the opportunity to realize my individual dreams while simultaneously creating a life with him. while we compromise regularly, we are fortunate in that we have not had to compromise on the goals we are passionate about. i believe that the most wonderful kinds of love are the kinds that help each person to become more of themselves. the relationship doesn’t change who you are, what you like, or who you hope to become; rather it helps you unfold into the person you’ve always been. and in these 8 years i’ve learned that love is simple. and through it’s simplicity we get to experience the complexities of the beauty this life has to offer. i’ve learned that love is not something you say, but rather, it’s something you do. it’s a feeling that you act on. he’s shown me that at one point in each of our lives, our paths will cross with someone who helps to undo all of that heartache, someone who helps to make sense of your troubles, someone who adds color to the world and joy to your life. for me, it’s always been him. and until then, i believe in patience and in letting love find its way. from what i know, it will come, and it will be magical.
this love is our engagement story.
i’m glad my heart chose you.
you are my home.