i cried in yoga today.
i’m not sure why, but i think it’s because i had stored up negative emotions inside of my body- stress, anxiety, and pressure. the need for control, disappointment, and expectation. and sometimes these things sneak into our lives and linger without invitation or our own awareness that they are there. and i’ve learned that when we store this negative energy within ourselves- either consciously or unconsciously- it begins to dim out the light that we are, the inner and outer radiance that we shine, and the brightness we share.
can you reflect for a moment on the ways in which you may be dimming your own light?
if you look long enough and can be open with your heart, you might find that you are unkind to yourself in ways that you did not know. like the ways that you eat or do not 0r in the way you force what is not ready to come. the way you judge your best efforts or the words you allow to speak to your heart. the way you talk to yourself as you set out on a new adventure or explore an unwalked path. and can you look inside and find the parts of yourself that are holding on to thoughts of inadequacy, worthlessness, harshness, and self-judgement? or perhaps you punish yourself through criticism, over-working, and the need for perfection. maybe you will start to observe the stories that you tell yourself about what you cannot do or about what is already done. listen to the thoughts that swirl in your mind causing anxiety, anger, sadness, or loneliness. and from my yoga mat i learned that sometimes we dim out our own light by doubting our competencies, talents, and abilities, or choosing not to see our goals through. do you notice yourself creating unnecessary pressure through deadlines, busy-ness, or the need to control every outcome? and when you search your soul are there lingering feelings of isolation, guilt, shame, or fear? what do they feel like? and how can you let them go?
stop for a moment.
and in these last two months i’ve learned that when we dim our lights or the lights of others through criticism, judgement, and unkindness, we cause the world to go dark. we cause suffering. we become trapped in hurt and unconscious negativity. when we make ourselves small it can become harder to grow, to develop our talents, to be consistent with our personal values, and to be who we fully are and are capable of. and when we spread negativity to others through jealousy, gossip, comparison, or un-forgiveness, we harbor the same energy within ourselves. but remember my friend, if we can replace our individual and collective spots of darkness with light, we may all shine.
and can you get to know yourself? can you sit with yourself and wonder?
take the time to begin to find yourself in all the ways that you’ve been lost in it.
and from my yoga mat, i have found that the more you know yourself the better you’ll be able to recognize when you are straying from your own path. we can use these opportunities of awareness to embrace discomfort and lean into our pain and insecurities. we can develop presence with the way that we feel and begin to understand that we need not do anything to change it.
release. breathe. let go and lean in.
we may not have all the answers, but at least we may begin to ask of the right questions.