reflections from a yoga mat

i cried in yoga today.

i’m not sure why, but i think it’s because i had stored up negative emotions inside of my body-  stress, anxiety, and  pressure.  the need for control, disappointment, and expectation. and sometimes these things sneak into our lives and linger without invitation or our own awareness that they are there. and i’ve learned that when we store this negative energy within ourselves- either consciously or unconsciously- it begins to dim out the light that we are, the inner and outer radiance that we shine, and the brightness we share.

 

 

can you reflect for a moment on the ways in which you may be dimming your own light?

 

 

if you look long enough and can be open with your heart, you might find that you are unkind to yourself in ways that you did not know. like the ways that you eat or do not 0r in the way you force what is not ready to come.  the way you judge your best efforts or the words you allow to speak to your heart. the way you talk to yourself as you set out on a new adventure or explore an unwalked path.  and can you look inside and find the parts of yourself that are holding on to thoughts of inadequacy, worthlessness, harshness, and self-judgement?  or perhaps you punish yourself through criticism, over-working, and the need for perfection.  maybe you will start to observe the stories that you tell yourself about what you cannot do or about what is already done.  listen to the thoughts that swirl in your mind causing anxiety, anger, sadness, or loneliness.  and from my yoga mat i learned that sometimes we dim out our own light by doubting our competencies, talents, and abilities, or choosing not to see our goals through. do you notice yourself creating unnecessary pressure through deadlines, busy-ness, or the need to control every outcome? and when you search your soul are there lingering feelings of isolation, guilt, shame, or fear?  what do they feel like? and how can you let them go?

 

 

stop for a moment.

just notice.

 

 

and in these last two months i’ve learned that when we dim our lights or the lights of others through criticism, judgement, and unkindness, we cause the world to go dark.  we cause suffering. we become trapped in hurt and unconscious negativity.  when we make ourselves small it can become harder to grow, to develop our talents, to be consistent with our personal values, and to be who we fully are and are capable of.  and when we spread negativity to others through jealousy, gossip, comparison, or un-forgiveness, we harbor the same energy within ourselves. but remember my friend, if we can replace our individual and collective spots of darkness with light, we may all shine. 

 

and can you get to know yourself? can you sit with yourself and wonder?

take the time to begin to find yourself in all the ways that you’ve been lost in it.

 

 

 

 

and from my yoga mat, i have found that the more you know yourself the better you’ll be able to recognize when you are straying from your own path.  we can use these opportunities of awareness to embrace discomfort and lean into our pain and insecurities. we can develop presence with the way that we feel and begin to understand that we need not do anything to change it.

 

release. breathe. let go and lean in.

 

 

 

we may not have all the answers, but at least we may begin to ask of the right questions.

namaste.

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6 thoughts on “reflections from a yoga mat

  1. Hi Jessica

    Yoga is working for you! My two sessions in a flotation tank have had the same effect – tears rolling down my cheeks. Relief! You have inspired me to actually do something about my anxiety, which gives me horrendous panic attacks, instead of just fighting it in a very negative and non-productive way. Thank you!

    Can I ask? – why the non-use of capital letters?

    All the best for a calm christmas and beyond,

    Wendy

    1. Hello Wendy!

      Thank you so much for your kind words and taking the time to read this post. I must agree, yoga is definitely working for me! I am learning a lot both on and off the mat and am trying to apply these lessons to my life. I am SO happy to hear that the post has inspired you to address your anxiety and panic attacks. Anxiety can be very difficult to live and cope with and I hope you find something that works for you! :). Congratulations on taking the first step to address it!

      As for the use of non-capital letters, when I originally began this blog I wrote the posts in the same way I have always journaled– with lower-case letters. It has always helped me to focus more on my thoughts/feelings rather than being grammatically correct. I had never anticipated other people reading my posts when I began the blog and since then (and after getting more traffic), made a decision to stay true to my original intent :). I hope it doesn’t prevent you from continuing to read! Thanks for asking!

      Sending you lots of love and positive energy,
      Jessica

  2. Every time I find myself in a dark place looking for hope I remember your blog. This post speaks to my soul and I thank you for that. You’re truly amazing and I still wish we would have met during SAS 09! Keep inspiring :)

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