…because i’m a twentysomething

when i was thirteen, i couldn’t wait to be eighteen.  i thought i’d know it all by then- have all the answers and that prized freedom. and when i was sixteen, i planned to be married by age twenty-three with two kids. i’ll always smile to myself when i think about how time changes things. and when i turned twenty four i made a list of as many goals as i had in years. by my 25th birthday, i’d accomplished them all.

and a funny thing happens about the time you turn twenty.five. people start asking about marriage and kids and houses. and you begin to worry about savings, retirement, and health insurance.  you start spending your money on plates.pots.new tires. short term sacrifices for long term gains, right? and sometimes you start to compare your 25 years with everyone else’s. you wonder if you’re on the right track because it’s different from all the people you’re surrounded by. you start going to your friends’ weddings and buying baby gifts for second birthdays.  and suddenly you realize you’re at the exact age that seemed so far away just five years ago.

i’ve always liked including myself in the 20.something. category.  growing up, but not quite grown up. you’re an adult, but still recognize that you’re part kid. i’ve enjoyed the navigating of adulthood and all of my new first time experiences. a new job. my first ‘grown-up’ paycheck. growth. being old enough to rent a car. but it seems like the older i’ve gotten, the more aware i’ve become of my short-lived stay in the ‘twenties’ and the pressure to fit the mold of all of the rest of the twentyfivers.

i’ve started to think about how easy it is to become controlled by our age. and the expectation of what your age signifies to everyone else. how old you should be by the time you graduate.buy your first house. get married. have kids. start your retirement. suddenly it seems like there are all these benchmarks to meet, even when they don’t match the goals you are trying to reach.

forget molds.

because as easy it is to forget, you’re free to do what you want with your life. the problem is, that can be quite the responsibility, to live your life the way you want to, rather than they way you are expected to. especially if that means taking a big jump. and especially when that jump may feel like a free fall.  maybe quit your first job and go back to school if that feels right. get married or don’t. maybe you drop out of school or chop off your hair. maybe you change your mind. end  a relationship that no longer serves you. become a different person.maybe you move away or move back home. or maybe you’re scared to do these things because it’s uncomfortable and unexpected. maybe it’s because you don’t know if everything would fall into place or you’re scared what that would mean if it did.

and when you’re in your twenties, i hope you buy a plane ticket to paris. i hope you get lost wandering all of the streets. i hope you travel the world and read lots of new books.  i hope you have interesting conversations over warm cups of tea.  i hope you drink out of mason jars while dancing barefoot in the grass. i hope you have a water fight in central park. set goals and change them. quit your day job. i hope you don’t do any of these things or that you do them all. write a book. change your mind. start new friendships and let go of the ones that you need to. say goodbye to all of the things that have kept you stagnant and vow to keep moving forward.



i hope your fifties mean going back to school or starting yoga. i hope your forties include falling in love with someone new- a friend, child, or partner.  i hope you stay up all night laughing with your friends. and when you’re thirty, learn something new. i hope your life is one of wisdom and youth, adventure and old age- no matter what year it was that you were born.

but what i really mean to say is that I hope you aren’t held back because of a number. and that you don’t rush into things because it feels like time is slipping by. i hope you do what’s right for you.   hold on. slow down. and breathe in. your age is your age. but more importantly, your life is your life. don’t change your journey so that it matches someone elses. we need to walk different paths so the whole world can be explored. revel in the differences. and enjoy where you are.

here. right here.

551 thoughts on “…because i’m a twentysomething

  1. Hi! Someone posted this on facebook and this blog entry is exactly how I feel at 25. Recently took a major leap of faith and left my job in Wisconsin and my failing relationship of 5 years to travel the world and move to Australia to work as an au pair. I’ve written similar entries and feel you might be interested in reading my blog as well. http://jerricapeterson.blogspot.com.

    1. hi Jerrica! that is so awesome! congratulations and kudos to you for taking that leap of faith and having the courage to live out your life :) that is such an inspiration! thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my blog, I’m excited to read yours! :)

      1. Thank you!! my favorites are “Lessons in life, love and La Crosse”, “The Hitchhiker”, and “Stop wanting and Start doing” (the last one particularly reminds me of the one you’ve written! Traveling and living life to your own accord brings love and happiness into your life. And that’s what I’m hoping to portray! Thanks for reading mine as well. Means a lot to me.

      2. Gosh girl! I’ve seen this entry posted absolutely everywhere. And somehow thanks to your followers, I’ve gained a sort of overnight success :)! THANK YOU <3. Keep up the great posts lady and thanks for, in a weird way, helping to get my blog out there!

      3. Loved reading your thoughts. It’s comforting to hear others share similar stories of figuring out this whole “twenty-something” thing ;)

        What I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is when for your whole life your sense of identity and belonging has been defined by your hometown, your family, your friends, your school, your job… what happens when you “give it all up” to try something completely different?

        I’ve realized that we’ve been programmed to think that leaving or moving or traveling inevitably means leaving our hearts behind (a la “I left my Heart in SF”) – how sad! Instead, I believe our most productive and rewarding self-discovery happens when we pack our identity, experiences, and loved ones into our metaphorical “suitcase hearts” and carry them with us for the journey.

        This sentiment has given me some much needed confidence as I make a big move cross-country, and is also what inspired me to start a little blog of my own: http://www.suitcase-heart.com

        Thanks again

      4. I read your post and it took me back to when I was 25, the age of my daughter. This brought back a lot of memories. Now I’m fiftysomething and some of your thoughts still hit home. Great article, good job!

      5. heya honey :) I was so delighted to read your post, and just couldn’t resist adding my 2 cents. I have been living abroad since I graduated college 6 years ago, taking various teaching jobs in South Africa, Asia, and now (and for the last few years), the Middle East. It has been a wild adventure, anywhere from taking spontaneous trips to spending weekends on end at home, cooking inspired meals, and loving my friends–who have become like family.

        Besides rescuing an army-crawling kitten from a 6-lane road and now having him curled at my feet, my most recent and sweet adventure has been falling wildly and deeply and trustfully in love with a very unexpected soul. As I’ve started the transition back to the States later this year, I’ve been taking stock of how blessed my life has been, and how much more joyful, patient, and wise I have become because I took this leap so long ago. I have learned to know myself, and read and empathize with others, in a way that is meaningful and fulfilling. I am so grateful now for heartache that has taught me to forgive when I need to and adapt when I can. I feel like I can approach life with a soft smile, and let it fill my face when the moment is right.

        This is not to in any way discount learning these things in any context–you can learn and feel this way from loving relationships with families and friends, but this is where my life has taken me and how I have come to understand it. (I would also add that I have paid off students loans and started an investment fund a couple years ago. Just for those who categorize us wanderers as perpetual Peter Pans)

        Sorry for the life-story, but all this is to say that your words are lovely and true. For those of us who take a few calculated risks, the rewards are sweet. And worth it. Keep blogging hun–the world is blessed for you :)

      6. I’m generally not a blog reader but read this as a couple friends shared it on Facebook. So true! Love it and live it. I’m also 25 and have recently from New Zealand to Australia… Big move and big change but no regrets. This is one of the very few blogs I can relate to. Thank you:-)

    2. Also would be interested in hearing how you’ve been receiving so much traffic on your blogs. Looking to get mine out there more. I feel like we have so many similar ideas. It’s a bit scary really. But I feel like I have so many important things to share. If you have any tips here please let me know. Great blog :)!

    3. I read you blog Jerrica. It was great! Did you do a lot of research before your travels so you would be aware as much as you could before entering unfamiliar places?

      1. Yes and no. I traveled to pretty touristy places first. Always had an undeniable dream to backpack through Europe. We did a lot of planning that time around and I would suggest doing the same for a first trip abroad. I chose Australia on a whim and committed to living here for a year without knowing a single person on the continent. So that was a different story entirely. The leap of faith is one worth taking though! No risk, no reward right? THANK YOU so much for reading :)

    4. Both of you ladies are so inspiring!!! Glad I ran into both of these awesome blogs and will be sharing both your stories with others as well. The world we live in today has sooo many expectations that we get caught up and don’t realize how we are living our lives and if we are truly happy with ourselves first and foremost. Good luck ladies and so happy for your achievements!!!

    5. First off, this article was incredibly difficult to read. Is your capital letter function on your keyboard broken? I understand your viewpoint, but this is really a solid reason as to why our generation is looked at as flaky/being in LALA land. This article here I think sums everything up perfectly.http://www.waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html “I have a term for yuppies in the Gen Y age group—I call them Gen Y Protagonists & Special Yuppies, or GYPSYs. A GYPSY is a unique brand of yuppie, one who thinks they are the main character of a very special story.:”

      1. Really? You can’t read something because it is not capitalized correctly? I didn’t notice until you mentioned it. That does not make any sense… Don’t be negative.

      2. I somewhat agree with you. Yes we do need some spontaneous fun in life but these are our prime years mentally and physically, we can’t just always hope for things to somehow fall into place. While I was reading the blog it felt like someone had written down my own thoughts and struggles, but we need to grow up. We can still backpack through Europe while having a sound job back home.

      3. Dave- what a ridiculous thing to say and leave as a comment on someone’s blog. If you didn’t find it appealing to read because of her choice of capitalizing letters- just leave it alone! Blogs are space to invite creativity. Are you also upset of her font choice? My goodness. I’m 26 years old. Married with a toddler. Full time job. And I still consider her article thoughtful and helpful as I too feel some sense of conflict in my identity as a “20 something.” Doesn’t make me a yuppie. Doesn’t make me flaky. Or a gypsy, for that matter. But how kind of you to share your thoughts. You must be the very unique, main character, of your own sense of reality.

      4. And to add to this, movies relating well to this would be St. Elmo’s Fire, Secret of My Success and even Oliver Stone’s Wall Street. All sum up the problems the millennials are having. We are not special to these struggles, everyone has dealt with them after college.

      5. Let me guess Dave.. You’re a baby boomer ? Aka “lets hate on the younger generation because I never had the chances they have now”..

      6. I found it impossible to read as well!!! I literally thought this would the first thing mentioned in the comments. Use correct grammar if you want to be taken seriously. This whole thing makes the blogger look whiney and incompetent. I didn’t read past the first paragraph.

    6. Ah! Very funny to see that you are from Wisconsin (my boyfriend is too!) and we live in Australia (we met here, I am French). :)
      All the best! Australia is an awesome place to be living in!

    7. What’s the rush to get older, I feel most of these twentysomethings
      Are pretty much idiots who envious of the older thirtysomethings
      They have always been waiting in the sidelines since 1996.

    8. I’m 25, living in Paris, and I have to say that I agree. Best decision of my life. I’ve been an artist my whole life, but I believe Paris is the place that has breathed light into my art.

    9. This post is very true. Don’t get stuck with the idea of what you should do versus what you want to do. I always dreaded getting to 30, like it was “so old”. At 23 I bought my first house, I was in a career, single, and I was BORED. Now, almost 29, I have a two houses, a great relationship, I went back to uni and changed careers to something I love, and have worked out that you have to take things as they come. I took some risks that I am very happy with, all because I followed my passion and worked hard. I am still far off from marriage and kids (even though all my friends are ahead of me), but it’s ok, cos 29 doesn’t have to be old. Neither does 30. It’s just a number.

  2. Someone sent me this blog today because they knew I would relate. It hit really close to home for me as a recently turned 25er who has felt very lost and restrained by society lately. Ive recently been inspired to break the chains that bind me and follow my dreams, pursuing what makes me happy. Im going on an adventure to Nepal in a few months with my best friend and I’ve started smiling big every day. Much love to u, I’m excited to start reading your blog.

    1. it is so amazing to see how many other people feel the same way! thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my blog, i am really grateful for that. congratulations to you for finding that inspiration and courage to live out your life and pursue your own dreams, i think once you decide to do that, everything else starts to fall into place. I cannot wait for you to go on your adventure to Nepal!! that will be sooo amazing, and i am so happy to hear that you’ve found your smile again. Thank you for sharing this with me, it is so refreshing to hear about people choosing to make the most out of their lives, i cannot wait for all the good things to start coming your way :)

  3. I saw this on Facebook, and I just felt that I had to read it. Thank you so much for writing about this. I feel this way every. single. day. of my life. I am 25 this year, and I feel so much pressure that you talk about – pressure to make something of my life, to save for retirement when I can’t even pay off my student loans, and to have the perfect life because that seems to be what all of my friends have. I am so glad that others feel the same way I do. Thank you for reminding me to live my life the way that I want to… not the way that others expect me to. Thank you… thank you.

    1. thank you soo much for taking the time to read and comment on my blog, it really makes my whole day. it is so refreshing and comforting to hear that other people feel the same way i do as a ‘twentyfiver.’ life is already stressful without adding on the other pressure of comparing your life to someone else’s, but it is so easy to do that sometimes. i truly hope that you’ll take advantage of the opportunity to live your life out the way you want to–even if it doesn’t match all of your friends or what the rest of society expects. i would love to hear about what you end up deciding to do with it and about all of the good things that come your way… again, thank YOU for your kind words :)

  4. Great blog! Thanks for sharing this. Age really is just a number and we shouldn’t be held back or be pressured by that. Much love from the Philippines xoxo

    1. i completely agree!! i think it’s more important to pay attention to what you are doing with your life, rather than the age you are when you do it. thank you for sending your love–all the way from the Philippines!–my way:) all of my love to you from oklahoma! :)

      1. Thank you for these thoughts. My children are 28 and 30 and not where they “planned”on being or where a lot of their friends are. I keep telling them not to put an age to their goals, but to do what they love and they will get to the place they want to be. To not pay attention to the world. I am 56 and am starting to get my bachelor degree. I have done what I wanted but definitely not by the age of my friends.

  5. Awesome post. As someone who is just about to turn 25 and is constantly getting asked questions about my life plans, I appreciate this post. There is no rush. We will get there when we get there, and right now is always right on time. :)

    1. i couldn’t have said it better…right now is always right on time :). i love that you can relate to the post and agree with the fact that there is no rush. thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my blog, i am really grateful for that :)

  6. As a 22 year old who is planning to move in with her boyfriend, and by doing so may lose everyone in her family because they feel it is improper for a girl to live with their significant other if they aren’t married, I just want to say thank you. You have reaffirmed my decision yet again.

    1. You’re not alone! Sometimes coming from a family with very traditional values can be difficult when life leads you down paths that may not necessarily be considered “orthodox” or “ideal” by your family.

      I’m in my mid-20s and, unfortunately, for our generation, living on our own is not always an option financially. Having a roommate (or two or three) to split living costs is often a very necessary part of reality for us. When my roommate of almost two years joined the military, I had to find another roommate to split bills if I was to continue living on my own and keep my current job. I’m an introvert and so have no friends. The only person I knew and trusted enough to live and split financial responsibility with was my boyfriend of almost two years. Was this okay with my family? No. Was it better than rooming with some complete stranger that neither I nor my family knew? I think so. And my family, while they disagree with my living situation, are very supportive of me, and accepting of my boyfriend. It was difficult telling them what I planned to do, but I’m so grateful for their continued support and understanding. I hope very much that your family will be able to do the same for you!

      Sometimes it’s better to have a stable living and financial situation with someone you know and trust than to try go it on your own, or even rush into marriage when you’re not ready, simply because it’s the “proper” thing to do. Good luck to you and your boyfriend!

    2. Just felt the need to reply to you. I have been going through the SAME thing with my family. I can’t even put in to words the encouragement I want to give you, what I wish someone had given to me. All I can say is live your life according to what you want. As long as you aren’t robbing banks or kidnapping small children, you will be fine. Don’t let your family punish you. One day they will realize there are worse things in the world

  7. I stumbled upon this entry via Facebook. It was written like I would speak and found myself reading it out loud. By the end I was fighting back tears and I didn’t realize why. But maybe that’s because I’m stagnant, not living for myself and my today. I truly love this post, beautifully written and poses questions so many of us don’t want to answer. Thank you.

    1. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your kind words. you have no idea how much it means to me that you read my blog, shared, and commented on it. when i was writing it, i had no idea that so many people would feel the same way/relate to the post. i love that it was moving for you to read and that it (hopefully) inspired you to take advantage of the opportunity to live out your own life, in whatever way that may be. i spent some time reading your blog posts today and loved them all :) …i would love to hear about any changes you make in your life and where they end up taking you :) again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

  8. This is perfect. So well written and SO appropriate to how I’m feeling. I just turned 24 and have been feeling so anxious about where I am and where I want to be (I literally just wrote a post about this!). I’m bookmarking this post…to remind myself to come back and read it when I loose sight of my twenties.

    1. i love love love hearing that other people can relate to how i’ve been feeling lately… it’s so reassuring knowing there are other ‘twentysomethings’ out there walking down the same path and feeling the same way :) thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog and comment on this post, it really means the world to me. i can’t wait to read more of your blog posts!

    1. i love that you can relate to this post! here’s to one more year as a twentysomething…but a life full of possibilities and opportunities! thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my blog, it really makes my day :)

  9. I read with interest the above. I am a sixty something who made different choices when I was in my twenties. My husband and I eloped and got married in Woodstock, Vermont. We put off having a family for 5 years. Instead on two occasions we quit our jobs and hitch hiked around Europe for extended times. In the meantime our friends were having babies and buying their first house. I never regretted our choices. I believe I was a better person, a more fulfilled person when I settled down for the ‘family years’. And here I am married for 44 years with 5 grandchildren. However my free spirit days are back with my husband about to retire. We don’t plan to sleep under any bridges or on beaches but I feel like I am once again in my twenties with adventures awaiting. “The only things I will regret are the things I do not do”.

    1. thank you so much for sharing your wonderful story, Loretta. It sounds like you have had-and are having-such a wonderful, well-lived life. and congratulations on your 44 years of marriage and 5 grandchildren! that is soo amazing! your life story is such an inspiration! thank you for taking the time to read my blog and comment on this post, it really means a lot to me :)

  10. Like everyone has said, this blog post hit really close to home, and I’m just 20! I was holding back tears by the end of it. Really great perspective to start living by from now on. I thank you a lot. Troubled times can only bring better ones ahead, right? Let’s all take that leap of faith and thank you, once again, for giving us the small push.

    1. thank you so much for reading my blog and taking the time to offer such encouraging words, i really appreciate that! :) i also love the fact that you too, can relate. all of my best moments came from difficult times, so i definitely agree with what you said about “troubled times can only bring better ones ahead.” i hope that small push helps you to get one step closer to what you hope to accomplish! i’ll be sending all my positive thoughts and luck your way :)

  11. Interesting post but I had trouble reading because of the formatting. Perhaps it’s just me but the lack things like capitalized i’s drove me insane, it looks very juvenile. Also, this could be reason millennials are so looked down upon- it’s because a lot of us feel so selfish and self entitled. I think it’s important to focus on a career as soon as you can, experimenting and exploration can be good but it can also be a glorified form of procrastination. No one is going to want to employ a 30 year old who didn’t have the patience to stay at one job.

    1. HI Carmen! Thank you very much for taking the time to read and comment on my blog post, I really appreciate the feeback. I’ve heard from other readers that my formatting and lack of capitalization can make the posts difficult to read, but it’s just my personal preference and writing style-several of my favorite authors write in similar ways. I also like your point on the value of being career focused and driven, and to not be so focused on exploration that you forget to make decisions that will be smart for your future. I think it’s about finding a nice balance. I’m (only) two years into my career and have gained wonderful experience by being driven and focused (which you might read about in other posts), but for me personally (and perhaps selfishly), I’ve also made it a priority to see new things and experience new cultures. I guess it’s all about what each individual hopes to make out of their life. I love that it is different for all of us :) Thanks again for the feedback and stopping by!

      1. I think it’s important to emphasize that you must first decide if you have the means to drop everything and explore. You obviously need to be somewhat established in some sort of a career to make the kind of money you would need to travel and have the luxury to not work to support yourself.

        I just worry about the selfishness and entitlement that so many people I see in their twenties continue to display, honestly getting tempted to delete my facebook because of the constant posts like this of people trying to make themselves feel better for not trying to find a career.

        I do enjoy the differences in life we all experience but not everyone has the luxury to live, as someone else posted in the reply in the “eat, pray, love” lifestyle. You need to be realistic.

      2. This is in reply to Carmen. What I got from this blog post was not to drop all of your career aspirations and travel, because you do not know what you want to do with your life. Pursuing a career is very important but for me and many other young adults so is traveling. You do not need to be settled in a career before you can get lost and revel in the beauty of exploring cultures and meeting new people. What I think she means by dropping everything an exploring is just to take a break from your typically everyday work schedule and travel, whether it be for a few weeks or a month. I know how enriching traveling can be and Its better to travel while your young than to do so later on in life. It does not take an established career to travel it just takes the ability to save money. Traveling is important and everyone should make it a goal to explore countries other than their own. Traveling does not make you lose site of your career goals, in fact in can aid you in accomplishing those goals.

      3. In reply to Vivan-

        I highly agree that travelling is essential for growth but it can be an unrealistic goal- coming from someone who has lived in a different country and traveled to different countries I understand the importance of travel but one must do so with the plan of how it will help you in the long run. Not just on a whim. It’s unrealistic. Travel by going to grad school in another country, look for a job in your field, study abroad if you can. Saving money is possible yes but you must think about saving money for life in general first and foremost. Most 20 somethings who don’t have established careers aren’t making the kind of cash needed for the care-free travel lifestyle.

        (coming from a 22 year old about to graduate, who unfortunately is watching close friends forgo career moves that are available to them and instead working a dead end job filing paperwork just to travel perhaps once a year, when they make the point to find their career it won’t be that easy as it is now. They won’t have the experience needed, yes they’ll say I went to such and such place but employers won’t care about that- they’ll care about work experience and your abilities.)

      4. In response to Carmen, I think the main point here is being missed. This post isn’t about abandoning everything to travel. Neither is it about forgoing career opportunities. It is about living the life you want to live when you want to live it and how you want to live it. I completely understand if you prioritize your career and advancements above other things in your life, but not everyone has the same goals you do. At 25, I myself once thought I would graduate and jump right into a career when I was 22, but I soon realized that wasn’t the right path for me. I’ve held various jobs, met interesting people, traveled, loved, lost and lived, and I simply don’t regret a minute of it. I think it’s unfair to judge your fellow students for their life choices simply because they’re not the ones you would make, which, coincidentally, is the premise of this entire post. Of course the choices people make should take into consideration their personal situations, but if people truly want to travel, they probably won’t regret the sacrifices they have to make to do so. I know I don’t. I also don’t regret that I am not settled in a career or married or buying a house. Those are not my priorities today, and that’s ok. I know that when I choose to make advancements in my career field, I will have to start at the bottom like everyone else, regardless of my age. But I also know from discussions with professional mentors, friends and family members in various fields that knowing who you are and being well rounded as a person are far more important that throwing yourself headfirst into a career right after college. I’m not saying not to enter your career right away – what I’m saying is that those who go a different route aren’t really hurting themselves. Sure, they’re postponing things for a while, but that’s far different than hurting their prospects. If age and professional experience were constantly tied together, one: that would be ageism, two: how would you explain women re-entering the workforce after raising kids or people making career switches in their 40s or any number of other scenarios? Finally, I’d like to say that plenty of twenty-somethings are saving enough cash to travel every day. That’s why we’re all recommending it to each other. If you have a goal and are willing to save for it and can take a few weeks off work, which most of us can, you can travel. We’re all capable of making plans to reach our goals, whatever they may be. So, if you want to go into your career, have at it and enjoy! If you don’t, that’s ok, too. As the author has said, “i hope you do what’s right for you. hold on. slow down. and breathe in. your age is your age. but more importantly, your life is your life. don’t change your journey so that it matches someone elses. we need to walk different paths so the whole world can be explored. revel in the differences. and enjoy where you are.

        here. right here.”

      5. This was so perfectly written and well thought out. Thank you so much for saying exactly what I hoped people would get out of reading this post. I couldn’t have said it better :)


  12. It seems like fate that I just came across this blog.this is something I desperately needed to hear from someone. I am
    25 quickly approaching 26 and it seems like ALL I see anymore on fbook, Instagram, email chains are everyone I knows photos of engagement rings, weddings, and new babies coming into the world. My *younger* cousin just got engaged yesterday. I am happy as a clam for her but it just reminds me how far away from All of this I am- I wouldn’t have cared about Any of this until everyone I know started doing it. I just 8 months ago was getting the “I’m turning 25” heebie geebies. I decided- and for all good reasons- that my long term relationship I was in was going nowhere, that I’d always wanted to Really give a musical career a shot, and that it was time to move to Nashville. I did All of it. I have been living here for 7 months now, boyfriendless, but also having quite the time of my life at 25. I’m doing nearly everything you’ve suggested! I’m reading again, found a cool job here that’s flexible, been on a couple of dates, made some new friends, and so much more! I just wish everyone around me would quit getting engaged, married, and having babies. I’ve resorted to convincing myself that none of these people I know have true dreams like the kid in me does. Anyways, thank you for writing what you did. I needed it and will keep checking back with you for further inspiration and moral support. Still scared shitless of where my life is headed here in nashville, but at least I’m enjoying it!
    Mary (25)

    1. I think you really might enjoy reading my blog http://jerricapeterson.blogspot.com

      much of the same content and different at the same time. You might particularly like “stop wanting and start doing” and “In 25 years…”. I feel like we all are on the same page here which makes it so nice to have ladies like you as fans. props to you for going for your dreams. I did the same, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been!

      1. Jerrica, how about you leave this post and go focus on yours..it’s really annoying that you’re popping up marketing yourself after every comment..thanks

      2. Why don’t you keep your negative opinions to yourself? I’m trying to help people in a similar situation. If you can’t understand that, then move unhappily along as usual. And I’m not marketing. I’m leaving comments to people who could use them. I threw my blog in there to someone who could get some real use out of it. If you’re not a free spirit, independent soul, then no, you wouldn’t understand.

    2. While it’s great that you’ve gone and embarked on your personal journey (and all the luck to you, especially in your music!), I think it’s very unfair to say that your peers don’t have “dreams” or goals just because they’re solidifying relationships, getting married, and/or having children, and wish they would stop because it makes you uncomfortable. Maybe this is the path THEY’VE chosen for themselves, and if ends up not being so, it’s up to them to find a new direction. But it’s just as judgmental of you to put them down for what they decided to do with their lives as it is you feel they have of yours. The point of this lovely blog post is to embrace yourself, where you are in life, discover, and follow what you feel you should do with it, not to put down others for doing the same for their own lives just because how they go about it differs from what you want. Their lives are theirs, and yours is yours. That’s all there is to it.

  13. I read this with two different pairs of eyes. One as the girl who will turn 25 in a few days and feels stagnant and knows that this is not who I am supposed to be because I’ve been drilling in my head my entire life that you should go to college after high school, be wild for a few years, find a boy worth calming down for and then start a life together, awesome job, house, babies and grow old and wrinkly and radiate love to everyone around you. The other set of eyes is from how I have actually lived- flipped my life upside down for Mr. Right Now, graduated HS early to have his kid and be a divorcé by 19. Reunited with and married Mr. Right and had his kid by 22. Stand here today and have done nothing but struggle for the past 7 years. It has aged me tremendously and 25 feels like 40, but now it is too late to do anything about it. I can’t just pick up and leave the job I hate in search of adventure, let alone go looking for the job I can be passionate enough about to enjoy. I have to provide. I can’t do anything for myself without thinking about how my family will be effected. (Buy that plane ticket to Paris? How about pay for diapers and daycare and the mortgage?) articles like this make me resentful and depressed that other people get to make my life choices for me and now I am stuck. (Yes I know I had my part in getting married and having kids, but let’s be honest here.. We have all had that boyfriend who plays your insecurities like a fiddle)

    I guess the moral of the story is.. Don’t do anything in life that will effect your long term before you know yourself and love yourself in the short term. It can lead you to reading articles that both affirm your need to follow your heart and then break it by reminding you that you can’t go anywhere at all.

    1. It makes me sad that you feel trapped. I’ve been there and it’s not a good feeling. If you’re in an unhappy slump I urge you to find a way out. You do not want to live life so unhappily especially at such a young age. If it’s your job. Quit. Find something more fulfilling. If it’s your husband. Leave. You’re only fooling yourself by pretending to be happy! Chin up girl! You can do it. Hang in there!

      1. Did you just advocate that an already divorced, mother of two kids leave her husband and her job?

        How is she going to support the kids? And what does that say about the weight of responsibility that is involved with making the decision to get married in the first place or the decision (yes it is your choice if you get pregnant) to have a baby at the tender age of 19?

        Where, in all of this, is the concept of ‘responsibility’ and the understanding that we are not alone on this planet and our choices affect many more than just ourselves.

      2. I don’t think you understand how kids change everything. She could leave her husband, but it would involve a long process of lawyers, divorce, and custody battles. (which is worth it if you’re truly unhappy, but is much more complicated than “just leave your husband”).

        If she wanted to quit her job, she’d have to spend months (or even years) saving money so that she could afford just the bare necessities for her two children. Diapers, food, clothing, school supplies, new carseats when they grow out of the old. Again, it’s not totally impossible to do, but children just can’t travel extensively without a lot of planning.

      3. we all know kids aren’t happy when in a household with unhappy parents. No I didn’t advocate for her to leave her family behind and run away. Read carefully. Find a new job, if it means leaving one you hate. Leave a relationship if that’s what makes you unhappy. I’ve seen too many people in unhappy relationships stick them out for the kids sake, and it’s not a good way to live.

    2. I’m really sorry that you feel so aged and stuck at the tender age of 25. That’s not something I wish on anyone, and I’m sure you struggle everyday to do what you think is right for your children. On the one hand, I agree that making decisions in your situation is very complicated because you have to account for the repercussions in those around you. On the other hand, I think it’s rather defeatist to tell yourself that you can’t do anything for yourself. Please don’t mistake my intention – I fully appreciate the complications of your situation, but this post isn’t just about making big dramatic choice. It’s simply about making choices that are right for us. It’s about changing the little things, and hopefully having those little changes add up to big changes. I hope that you can come to accept the choices you made that led to the life you have, and you find a way to begin to move toward a life that makes you happy.

    3. Katie, I really hope things get better for you. There’s no denying that kids and a mortgage are unavoidable and up and quitting a job is simply unrealistic… But something as simple as taking an evening art class or planning a weekend away somewhere nearby and inexpensive (either with your family or alone) could make things that bit brighter. Like the blog says it’s different for everyone. I am 23, have just finished studying and am trying to pursue a career in the arts (like a fool). It’s what I love but a lot of what I’m doing is unpaid at the moment and there’s no way I can see myself being able to afford a house ever. It’s a sacrifice, but I’d rather do what I’m doing now than work anywhere else.

      If it wasn’t for the decisions when you were younger you wouldn’t have your children, and by the sounds of things you love them a great deal as you are working somewhere you don’t enjoy to look after them well. And there must be a reason you married your husband, and if he really loves you then maybe talking about how you feel will result in you joining a night class together or something, I don’t know your relationship but if he loves you I’m sure he’ll want to help, even if it means looking after the kids himself one night a week so you can go out and do something fun.

      As for travel; my mum met my dad at 17, married at 21 and moved to a small town of 3000 people with him and raised my sister and me. She didn’t travel until her late 40’s when we had left home and had the time of her life. She is now 51 and has recently changed career path and is very happy! You have so many decades to go, there’s no reason to feel it’s over at 25.

      Keep people around you that support you and make you feel good and I hope that everything works out!!

    4. Whatever you do, ignore Jerrica’s advice. Her entire blog is just one long, self-involved cliche. Ties to other human beings, like your family, are what life is all about. Don’t be jealous of other people’s adventures. Raising children is an adventure. A marriage is an adventure. These blogs have nothing to say to you, or anyone.

      1. Everyone has dreams of their own. I’ve made that clear in every post of mine. I happen to value minimalism and adventure at this stage in my life. Not to discount a life where someone is happy with kids and a family. Clearly you missed the part where I’ve invested the last 12 years of my life taking care of children. Babysitter, teacher, therapist for kids with autism, and full time nanny for the last 3 years. You are the people who make others feel that living a non-traditional life is somehow less meaningful that the standard American dream. Unless you have experiences in both, or are a 20 something with an open mind, I suggest you keep your one-sided comments to yourself. You will get nowhere in life by being unkind. At please, before you judge, make sure you give the blog a thorough read, and get to know the person you’re trying to bash online.

  14. This was great! I really felt this when I was the first of my friends to get married. I felt that people would not stop commenting on how young I was. A few years later I’m married, couldn’t be happier and now marriage doesn’t seem so weird to my friends :) it just goes to show that the pressure comes from both sides – you’re too young, you’re getting old – so you’re better off just following your heart, it’s the only place where the right answer lies!

    1. I feel exactly the same way… I’m the first of my friends to be engaged, and I’m tired of hearing the “you’re too young” “aren’t you scared?” comments … I mean, the lesson on this post is do whatever you want in your life whenever you want to, without being concerned about your age, because it is just a number. If at age 23 I want to get married because it fulfills me, then thats totally ok, just as ok as being 25 and leaving your job and your sucky relationship to travel and learn about other cultures. It’s about doing what your heart tells you to do and making an adventure of your every day, even if you’re married and have 2 kids.
      I hope people are getting the right message from this post, and understand the pressure can be felt the other way around too.

  15. Someone shared your blog on facebook, a young girl that is quite lovely and I have to say, I absolutely enjoyed reading your blog. I am in my late 20’s and I can fully relate. Most of my friends are married (some divorced and married again), and most have children or are due within the next couple of weeks. Everyone looks at me and I constantly get, “what is a girl like you doing without a significant other or not married.” They do not mean it in a negative way, I guess, but I am quite happy not being married and not having children. I have so much more I want to do since women fought so hard to have the freedom to explore and be more than wives and homemakers. For those who have chosen that route, more power to them. For me, I want to enjoy my twenties and twirl in Paris and explore and try new things right now. I went to Paris and it was such an amazing trip and I could do it because I decided not to worry about the husband and children, and travel. People have offered to create me online dating accounts because they feel I must be lonely because I am not married and I do not have children. I think I will share this blog with them so they can see others who are in their mid twenties who are enjoying life just like I am, but more importantly, are doing what is best for them, not just following trends.

  16. Hi Jessica. For a twenty something, this is a very insightful post. I’m impressed with your way of wording things and your outlook on life at such a young age. Great job on handling the negative comments too. Keep your style. Be yourself. And don’t let anyone tell you how not to be ‘juvenile’. I personally like to dance in the rain, jump in puddles and watch cartoons even though I’m a late thirty something.

    1. Hi Alyssa!

      Thank you so so much for taking the time to read my blog and leave such a kind comment. I never expected to have other people reading my blog, so your comment truly means the world to me :). I am so grateful for the new followers, comments, and feedback on the post! The negative comments can be a little hard to handle, so I really appreciate the reassurance and encouragement. And I’ll always pick jumping in a rain puddle over walking on dry land :)… I hope you have a wonderful day, thanks for brightening mine!

  17. Hi there! I don’t usually comment on blogs, but just really wanted to share my thoughts on this as another 25-year-old. As I read this, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad as I thought about the dominant attitude of “twentysomethings.” I agree that your 20s are certainly a time of figuring out who you are, trying new things, exploring, etc, and I think it’s wonderful to encourage people to do that! But I think people our age often fail to realize that doing that has to go hand in hand with learning how to be an adult–and sometimes that means doing this right thing even if that’s not what feels good or fun or what we want to do for ourselves. The beauty of growing up is learning that it’s not just about me, so even if what “feels right” to me is quitting my job and exploring for a year, I might need to step back and realize that just because something feels good doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.

    Clearly, the things that other people expect us to do aren’t always best, and it’s important to consider that. Just because someone says you should be married in your 20s doesn’t mean you should settle for someone who isn’t right for you. But I think it’s also important to consider that maybe life isn’t all about selfishly doing things the way we want to do them in that moment–we have to consider the bigger picture.

    1. Amen, sister!

      Here’s an awesome Ted Talk that follows along with what you just said, I think that people who are “blown away” by this blog post should definitely watch this video given by someone with a PHD who specializes in people in their 20’s.

      1. Thanks for sharing that Ted Talk Carmen! I’m going to share it with the 20 something’s that I know. I wish someone had given me that advice in my 20s definitely an inspiring and powerful message.

      2. This is a beautifully motivating video, and I happen to think it fits perfectly with this blog post. I think the heart of both these messages is about doing what is right for you – picking the right family, using your weak ties and investing in yourself as a person. There are resonating messages in both of them, and they work in tandem, culminating in a desire for twentysomethings to use this defining decade to find out who they are. I’m very glad I watched this video, particularly after reading this blog.

  18. Sounds great, just one thing…

    Something like this is much more easily accomplished by women who have at least established themselves financially in some manner. It’s all well and good to offer the, “Eat, Pray, Love,” advice bust most people can’t just pick up and go ‘follow their dreams’ due either to responsibilities or lack of money.

    It also is difficult to apply the same advice to men who are typically valued for their stability and ability to be a provider, and for their physicality in certain areas of industry. If all men went and took a low-paying / high flexibility job in their twenties (the peak of their physical capabilities) then who would we have building roads, bridges, buildings, who would run the power grid, who would act as the backbone of the manufacturing industry, the technology industry, and transportation services? Also, what woman really wants to think about a long term relationship with a Barista, record shop clerk, tattoo artist, tennis instructor or some variant of the ‘low responsibility’ jobs out there?

    It is your life, but it is critical to also understand how your life is delicately intertwined with every other person on this planet. If every twenty-something decided today to “follow their dreams” then the world and society as we know it would crumble.

    SOMEONE has to do the jobs that keep our world working.

  19. I very rarely post comments on blogs but felt compelled to after reading this post. I can absolutely relate to this on so many levels. As a woman who recently turned 26 this past summer, I find myself constantly questioning my decisions because I have followed an “unbeaten path” so to speak. About two years ago I ended a very unhealthy relationship with a long-term boyfriend and quit my 9-5 cushy desk job that I hated to pursue other paths in life. I decided to go back to school and am now almost done with my second Bachelor’s degree in Spanish. I studied abroad in Spain for nearly 5 months this past spring and traveled throughout Europe. It was one of the most incredible experiences I have ever had. Even though I am much more content with the choices I have made over the past couple of years, I still feel those societal strings pulling at me. It seems as though almost every day I see another person is engaged, had a baby, or landed their dream job. Even though I know I have done what is right for me, I still feel like I am completely behind in “life.” I have no doubt learned a tremendous amount about myself and have grown to know that there is no cookie cutter platform of what life is supposed to be, and I will reiterate what this blogger beautifully said, “you’re free to do what you want with your life”. Just remember that. That’s probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned. You don’t HAVE to do anything. So I am not engaged, having a baby, and admittedly still living with my parents. So what? Good things are coming and I have to remain trusting that things will fall into place as they should. Yes, change is one of the scariest things on the planet, but not changing can be even scarier. Thank you for posting this.

  20. Like everyone else has said- thank you for posting! I had a really hard time turning 25 this year and a lot of people around me didn’t understand. You words and everyone’s comments help reassure me that I’m not alone! I may not be exactly where I thought I “should be” by now, but I’m slowly getting there and I’m not giving up!

  21. This is EXACTLY what I needed to read today! As I’m currently living with my husband in Skopje, Macedonia I was panicking about living the “American dream” once we return to Oklahoma next June- if we don’t continue our life overseas. It’s so easy to get caught up and conform to society’s expectations of starting a family as soon as your married, buying a house, health insurance and planning for retirement. Thank you for sending your message to live for the moment and enjoy every single day we have in this experience together, traveling and living in Europe. I hope when we celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary, we can say that has made all the difference.

  22. one of my friends posted this on fb. i have to say this is probably one of the most inspiring things ive come across. as a 25 year old, im exactly where you described: being bombarded by questions about marriage and kids and homeowning. it makes me depressed sometimes because i am a single student still living under the roofs of my parents. but i dont care for the molds that society and my friends/family are living. i am my own person and will do my own thing. and i will do all the things i want to do on my own terms and in my own time. thank you for reassuring me of this :)

  23. I’m about to be 24 and I completely feel the same way! I have parents pressuring me to finish school, get on at my internship full time and blah blah blah. What I really want to do is get a teaching degree and move to Africa. This is exactly what I needed :) Thank you!

    1. Abbie. Please please follow your dream….Your parents can’t live your life for you…You choose your own path & accept the consequences, good or bad, but to know that you made the choice you are in control of your own destiny..Hey I’m 57 & have travelled the world, no Kids, but a husband who loves me. I feel I am very blessed. Good luck on your journey.XX

  24. I came across your blog today on Facebook. This post is exactly what I needed to hear! I am 24 and everything I pictured my life would be by now, is the exact opposite. I felt bad about myself and wondered why things are not happening for me like they did for all my married friends. I LOVE this post, so relatable and meaningful to me. Thank you for saying the things that so many other ladies need to hear and can relate too. I am hooked on your blog!

  25. Great writing! I’ve been traveling the world since I graduated college. Next week I turn 26 and I am happy to report that I have no car, no retirement plan, no house, or even cell phone. But I have been to all 7 continents. And that’s something I am way more proud of than the other things. Thanks for taking the time to help others realize there’s so much more to life than what is expected. Well done! http://8iheartearth8.wordpress.com/

  26. Love this article! I am actually at the point of my life where I know that I absolutely love traveling and nothing fulfills me more than meeting new people and getting lost in new cities. The only thing that holds me back is my job and my fear of taking the jump…but I also know that I can’t wait for ‘the perfect time’ to do it….

  27. Came across this on my FaceBook and, being 25 myself, felt that I NEED to respond after reading this.

    This is that I love; Positivity. Love. Encouragement. There is not enough of it these days, and over the past year I have been trying to do exactly what you do and attempt to make everything better, even if its one person or thing at a time. The glass is ALWAYS half full and I love sharing that optimism with people and trying to help motivate them, to do better, be better, anything. Everyday should, and can be, a great day; you’re alive, what’s more wonderful than that?

    I could ramble for a while about this, so I’ll stop. I enjoy your outlook on life very much, and it’s neat to see someone share the same view and optimism that I find within myself. Keep doing what you do, you made my day better and I have no doubts that you did for someone else as well. Thank you :-)

      1. Yes to the people who are griping about the writer not using “proper punctuation” or capitalizing her “i’s” in HER OWN BLOG, no one is forcing you to read it so get the heck over it! There always has to be one “Nagging Nancy”, “Debbie Downer” or “Bob Bummer” in the bunch.

        Great blog topic and more power to you for sharing!

  28. I just turned 28, and have found myself – increasingly so in the last year – comparing my life to those around me – they’re all buying houses, getting married, and having babies and here I am renting an apartment, spending 1/4 of a downpayment on a European vacation, and being terrified of holding a baby let alone having one (kids are not in my plan). This was the perfect reminder, at the perfect time, that I’m exactly where I want to be and doing what I want. Thank you for that. You’ve got a new reader :)

  29. Love this post! It’s a good reminder of what is important in life and how we can sometimes get so caught up in what really doesn’t matter. I hope that whatever you do, that you find real meaning and happiness because living a life without following your heart is not really living. Don’t live for anyone else but yourself, girl!

    Also, please feel free to follow my blog and FB, Every Girl, Everywhere. I want to reach women like yourself and inspire and encourage them to live out their dreams and show that whatever it is that you want, you can have! The blogs focus is travel, but there’s also a lot of inspirational quotes and posts that I will be sharing.

    Have a wonderful day my love

  30. I’m an actor. I’m married but my husband and I travel all the time. We have no place of our own and I do feel judged all the time. ” You got married, now it’s time to settle down.” But I can’t help feeling I’m right where I should be.

  31. I have absolutely NO idea who you are but thank you for writing this. My girlfriend shared it on her Facebook. It made me feel so much better. I wasn’t feeling down but the annoyance of ”the age” the constant reminder of my ”clock ticking” When are you going to have kids? You’re an amazing woman why aren’t you married yet.. It’s so annoying! I did have a phase where I’m like I’m 20+ and amazing but I have everything going for me so just because I’m not every where I want to be doesn’t mean I’ve missed my turn or my night and shining armor got hit by a bus or anything. THANK YOU so much for the reassurance!!

  32. I saw your blog posted on facebook and had to read. Even though I’m 28 now, I can relate on how it feels to be pressured to get married or have kids…all my friends have kids and sometimes I feel I should be having them, too…which is not the case. Learning to love yourself and what you are doing with your life is huge and I’m beginning to do so without anyone’s input. Can’t wait to read more! :)

  33. Thank you for writing this. I turned 25 about 2 months ago and this sums up exactly how I feel. I took time to travel after college and last year I left my friends and family in Wisconsin to move across country for new opportunities in Dallas. After a strange turn of events, I landed in San Francisco only a few months later and couldn’t be happier! I have always believed in the “don’t let any opportunity pass you by” (no matter how crazy it may seem) motto but sometimes doing things unconventionally, especially as a female, can be difficult to say the least. That being said, I wouldn’t trade the experiences I have had for anything in the world. Each choice I have made has helped shape me into the person I am today and guided me to the path I have always wanted for myself. Once again, thank you for your words of wisdom and inspiration today – I needed it.

  34. This is awesome. As a Peace Corps Volunteer who just had her 30th birthday in Africa, I loved this article! Here’s to living, regardless of numbers :)

  35. This came across as a thinly veiled manifesto for eternal adolescence. You cannot shirk maturity and responsibility by first tying them to ages, and then dismissing ages as arbitrary. Age IS somewhat arbitrary; maturity and responsibility are not. The false life-stage of “adolescence” is an excuse to dabble in grown-up affairs without accepting grown-up responsibilities.

    Reject man-made molds if you wish, but God-made molds are important.

  36. wow, thank you for this post. I found it because 3 of my friends posted it to FB. I thank them too. I am a twentysomthing. 25 to be exact. I felt the pressure and questions: Married 3 years, now why don’t you have kids? Master’s degree: why aren’t you in your field? Why do you chose to work in fast food?

    I needed to hear this because I do compare to other 25 and 26 friends. I compare to old colleagues and classmates. I am where I need to be now. I even quit/slowed down my blogging because of the questions that pop up about being twentysomething.

    Thank you for inspiring me to just live my life as I need to. And you just earned yourself a subscriber :-)

  37. Reblogged this on Ber em Brasil and commented:
    Although I believe every day is a celebration of life, there are a few days of the year that deserve a little extra “pizzaz” if you will. Among these are birthdays! Today I am fortunate enough to celebrate another year of life with wonderful family and friends. One of my best friends, Miss Lisa Greisch, put this blog post on her Facebook wall and I immediately connected with it. I thought it was ironic that she both posted it and that I read it today, as it talks about age and the “timeline” given to us by society that we are supposed to live by.
    Although going to Brazil will put off my first long-term big-kid job, I realize that I have the rest of my life to work! I am super bummed to not have my first classroom this fall and even next fall, but know that God is giving me this other experience for a reason.
    I trust that He’s got it all under control. For some reason I get the vibe that His plans may just be better than my own :)

  38. My friends and I are studying at a library right now and one of us saw this post of facebook. We’ve all read it and it has definitely lifted our spirits!! thank you much for being a reminder that you don’t have to care what your peers are doing and whether or not you are living up to the same standards. I sometimes find myself getting caught up in the pressure to accomplish a, b and c before I turn 25 but as you said it’s perfectly alright for goals to change!
    Can’t wait to read more!

  39. I absolutely love this!!! Amen sister!!! It is so important not to compare your lives to others. A good friend of mine said that the greatest gift he could ever give his children in life is to never know their age. That way they love each day for their own happiness, not for others. Beautifully written blog…

  40. This was a wonderful read. That being said, what do you do when that “leap” doesn’t make itself apparent? I am in the 8th year of 20something and I feel as though I have become stuck. I don’t hate my job but I don’t love it either. I am in a bland and blissless relationship but I love my boyfriend. I am not quite as successful as I would like to be but I am better off financially now than ever before.

    What do you do when life evades you?

    1. Rick, I’m in the same situation as you but over the past few months I’ve came to the conclusion that life is too short to settle! I hope you make the choices that are right for you and do what makes you happy!

  41. Nice blog. I know you’ve heard it from others, but my wife and I alsooooo have a blog that captures the same idea. We decided to break away from the norm and travel the world for 2.5 years straight. Quit our jobs, sold our house, sold our stuff…..and just left the American Rat-race. http://www.HappyToBeHomeless.com is the blog. Check out my wife’s writeup under the “About Us” section, called “Giving It All Up.” Your post reminded me of this. Glad to have stumbled across your site.

  42. Saw this on my FB feed and couldn’t be happier to have read it. As I’m coasting through my late twenties, I’m excited for my 30’s but proud of what I’ve accomplished in my 20’s so far. I couldn’t agree more, life is an adventure its your choice of what kind you want it to be.

    Great post!


  43. Thank you so much for this incredible post! The timing could not have been more perfect. I recently graduated and have been struggling to find my place in the real world. I know I will read this and reread it every single time I start having that fear of “but I’m ___ years old, I should be doing this or that now!” As a dreamer it’s sometimes hard to fight off those fears to get to the end goal, but your words are just the reminder I needed, and will surely need in the future. Thank you a millions times, you’ve had a positive impact on a life today! :)

  44. Go powerfully after your dreams at any age and they will come true. At 25 I was lost in clubland and on a path to nothing. By 28, I was depressed, apathetic, single, and got fired from my job. At 30, I somehow woke up settled inside myself (despite it all), and decided enough was enough. At 33, I unknowingly met the love of my life (10 years younger than me!!!!). I was happy, but $60,000 in debt. I decided I wouldn’t let me that stop me from pursuing what I wanted – a life dedicated to total freedom. At 34, I found a way to change all that, quit working and gave my Trust to the Universe. At 35, I moved to another country to live. At 37, I married the most amazing man. At 39, I travelled around the world for a year. Today, I’m 40…and I believe that if you follow your own path, unwaveringly doing the things you need to do to make them happen, everything you dream about can come true. After all, it happened to me (but not at the age or in the order that I though it would….) ;)

  45. Wow, thank you for sharing this! I’m a twenty-something who’s feeling the same tug and pull between cultural expectations and my dreams. It’s so comforting to see and hear that others are experiencing this too in their twenties. Blessings on these years, and may you thrive in all that you choose to do!

  46. Wow, thank you for sharing this! I’m a twenty-something who’s feeling the same tug and pull between cultural expectations and my dreams. It’s so comforting to see and hear that others are also experiencing this. Blessings on these years, and may you thrive in all that you choose to do!

  47. …because I read this post and it made me smile and tear up at the same time. I have been meaning to write this post since I started putting down my thoughts in this blogsphere, and you have written it so beautifully. Pretty awesome that this post hits home for a lot of us that are commenting. Gracias chica!

    …keep on samba-ing to the sea…

  48. Glad I just came across your blog and this post. It’s a nice feeling to know that all of us “twenty-somethings” go through similar ups and downs. Your 20’s are such a roller coaster. When I turned 25 I made a list of “25 things to accomplish.” Some I did, some I didn’t….and that’s okay. At 26 I did make some big changes, a new job, moved to a new city. Am I perfectly happy now? No. Because I’ve definitely learned that life is not about getting to a destination, it’s about enjoying those high moments, sitting with those low moments, and taking in and learning as much as you can along the way! Now if I can just listen to my own words of wisdom, I’ll be in good shape! I just started a blog at http://www.theprimalyogi.com. Thanks for the inspiration!

  49. Wow, I just hit the 29 mark and I wish I had written this! You are spot on and wiser than you know. Thank you. Most people I know are on what some of my friends and I call the “conveyor belt” You made me feel okay with my decisions.

  50. This was such a wonderful post. It was something that I needed to hear. As a 22-year old senior in college, figuring out grad school plans and worrying about where I am going to be next year or a few years or later. Or worried that I have not had a long term relationship yet, I don’t want to be alone forever! This put it in perspective that I need to cherish my time that I have right now as a younger person enjoying every bit of life as it comes at me. Thank you for this post. :)

  51. I took a leap of faith and started a new life at 25. I’m currently writing this from my desk as a public school teacher in Korea. Its been two years and I’ve traveled the world, I’m dating a girl from another country, Im making an impact on people’s lives. Am i always happy? No. Do i have better prospective! you bet! Live life and live it well.

  52. I’m fortysomething and this made me smile. My advice? Twenty years your senior? Stay awake. Life is forever reinventing itself and inviting you in on the process. Say yes. Say no. But whatever you do, do it with your eyes and heart wide open.

    The best to you on your journey … even as it still unfolds. And, thanks for the reminder that there is still a lovely path before me, a path of my own choosing.


    1. “stay awake. life is forever reinventing itself and inviting you in on the process. say yes. say no. but whatever you do, do it with your eyes and heart wide open.”

      that is absolutely beautiful and so true. thank you :)

  53. I have never replied to a blog before but this was an interesting topic. I just turned 25 this year. And while I may not have everything I want, I have applied the old adage “live life to the fullest”. I am blessed beyond measure. No, I don’t own a house; I don’t have any children; and the 40-60 hours of work I do a week I don’t get paid for. However, I have followed my dreams. I will be graduating from medical school next spring and going into family medicine/ ER. I have also been to Africa to work in a hospital, Ecuador to teach in schools, gone to Ireland, Scotland and England for missions work with my church and have also travelled to Italy on vacation.
    I didn’t grow up in a wealthy home. I just worked hard. There was no free ride, but my long hours of work are paying off. Would I change some things? Definitely. But overall? Not too shabby I must say.
    My advice? Sit down and figure out long term goals. Short term ones too. Prioritize. Then work for it. The only reward for the path of least resistance is that it is easy. It just doesn’t get you anywhere worth going.

  54. I just happened to come across this post through Facebook and I really wanted you to know that it meant a lot to me! I’ll be turning 23 in tomorrow and at 16 I had every one of those plans you mentioned, being married, having kids, everything. Funny how at that age your 20’s seem like another lifetime! But life always likes to take us on unexpected detours. I’m now in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who lives in Ireland, so marriage and a family are quite possibly a long way off. Honestly, as my birthday is getting closer I was starting to get a bit depressed because of the goals (expectations) I still hadn’t accomplished. It took reading your blog for me to realize that sometimes the detours are the best parts!- Thank you :)

  55. Pretty sure this post is going viral… prepare yourself girlfriend! (I stumbled across your article on the Book) ;) As a 20-something travel blogger myself, it’s very inspiring to young women with such a positive outlook on life. Don’t fear the journey!

  56. I cried as I read this because this is me. I compare myself to those around me and I am afraid to misstep and get lost and not be where I should be. As every single one of my closest friends gets married and has kids and leaves me in the dust, I focus solely on my failed 6 year relationship (which took away 6 years of my twenties) and all the plans I had made for myself that have also gone awry. I cried I guess more so due to relief and an awakening because I see that I’m not the only one out there who feels this way, and I realized through reading this that I can still live my life without all the plans, and as you so marvelously and perfectly stated, “say goodbye to all of the things that have kept you stagnant and vow to keep moving forward.” Thanks to you, that is what I will do.

  57. Look, I realize that you’re trying to find fulfillment in life, and that is wonderful. And I also agree that you should not compare your life to those of others. But there is NOTHING in the world more fulfilling than being happily married with children. I realize that it is not a possibility for everyone, and I certainly wouldn’t urge you to rush into it. However, you should not purposefully delay marriage and children in pursuit of “self-fulfillment”. Selfish living doesn’t bring deep, long-term satisfaction. Besides, you will have plenty of time later in life to enjoy travel, and whatever other adventures you desire. Plus, you get the added satisfaction of being able to see grandkids grow up. If you have been responsible as a twenty-something, you will actually have the means to pursue those pleasures.

    Beyond that, a biological clock is real, whether you want it to be or not. If you don’t believe it, go read an account of someone who delayed having children in pursuit of pleasure, money or whatever else. It is truly heartbreaking to hear of a thirty-something or forty-something who lost their chance to have children. While marriage and family-life isn’t something that needs to be rushed, it is definitely worth seeking if you have the chance. In the meantime, enjoy your life.

  58. I was just thinking of age tonight as I’m 27 1/2 and my life is finally starting to really come together for the first time. For the past 1 1/2 years all I’ve been struggling to do is forge a new me, the me I’ve always desired to be and it’s been tremendously hard, along with so many tears and sacrifices. Everything from new friendships, to heartbreaking realizations, and letting go, to new jobs, a new apartment, new perspectives, new clothes, everything…I love it, and recognize it will take some time but it’s the age of me that gets me. “I should have this or that” and tonight when I happened across a shared post of your blog on Facebook- I was touched. What you said truly matched how I currently feel, and thank you for freeing those words for the rest of us twenty somethings. Our time truly is magical and very beautiful. My twenties will always be my favorite, although as you said, the rest of our ages will be favorites as well. Thanks for helping me see clearly again. :)

  59. “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans for you to prosper and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11

  60. This post is perfect in so many ways. I turn 22 in 3 days and it seems like at 17 I knew exactly how my life would be right now, and it’s not that at all. I finished college, but not with a degree in what I thought it would be. I decided I want to go to law school, but not until right before senior year of undergrad. Which in turn means a year off. Life just happened so different. I saw this post because a friend of mine posted it on Facebook. And ironically this friend and I had a discussion about a week ago about how we knew nothing at 18 but thought that we knew everything. My point to all this madness though is, THANK YOU, for helping reassure me that things will be ok even if my life timeline doesn’t fit the timeline of society. I thought things were hard and confusing in middle school, that was nothing compared to 21. Thanks Again.

  61. Hi there, I just read your blog and it really resonated with me. It so true that age is just a number. Although there is always constant pressure whether its from family, friends, or society that make you think that you need to be at a certain point, place by a certain age. I have realised recently that they only person’s opinion that matters is your own. I have travelled the world, lived in a different country for 2 years, bought property, earnt money, lost money and am still trying to find some to settle down with and have kids. Even though I am in my late 30s I still believe there is time and everything will all fall into place. You just have to keep the faith, be grateful for what you have each and every day and believe. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with the world and inspiring me and others to keep the faith :)

  62. I really enjoyed reading your article, it made me realize that I am not alone in this universe!!!! I am still twenty something and I am starting to feel a pressure from my friends and family… Get a job, find a husband, get married and start making babies! I don’t want that!!! I want to travel around the world! I am glad that my fiance understands that!!!! I don’t like to be limited to the certain things in life!!! Who knows, maybe we will be engaged till 53 and then will get married as a cute old couple hahaha. Life is so unexpectable!:) Enjoy living yours!:)

  63. I was always amazed at the number of people who compare themselves to others when they reach their mid twenties. Everyone is different, everyone takes a different path. I’m 26. I’ve never even thought about getting married. Having kids? You can forget it. I’m living in Europe. I travel anywhere I want. I love it. Would I encourage others to do that? Yes. But that might not be for everyone. Some people are meant for marriage and kids in their 20s.

    1. I love that you brought up traveling and how you do whatever you want, because that’s exactly what I want to do. That’s awesome, continue to enjoy your life the way you want.

    1. As a parent of three 20 Somethings kids and an Academic Life Coach, I loved this piece as well as all the replies. Much of my program is about helping high school and college students find and learn to trust themselves. Unfortunately, I hear that students never have a chance to figure out what they want. They feel bombarded by family and friends telling them all the ‘Whats’ and “Shoulds” for their lives. Whens they get on their own, they feel overwhelmed and confused. I love the calm confidence that comes as students learn about and design their future self.

      I am posting to my FB page (www.facebook.com\YourCollege Gameplan )in the hopes that parents will read this thread and encourage their kids to read this as well. Thanks for all of your insights.

  64. This entry has explained exactly what I’ve been through since I’ve turned 20 and how I feel now, at 25. I just bawled my eyes out like a baby this morning! This morning, I begin a volunteer position as a curator at a museum, which is what I want to do for a living someday. Last January 2013, when I turned 25, I decided to go back to college to at least finish my Associate’s degree. I constantly wonder what others think about me; 25 and still a barely a Sophomore in college. Summer of 2013, I decided to quite my full time job (where I was entirely replaceable: just a random full time job) and go back to school full time.
    Since then, it has been hard to survive. I can’t find a decent part time job and it’s not easy to make bills. I don’t have “mommy” or “daddy” there to support me- I never have. I do not personally know another who has gone through or is going through the same thing I am, but I do have a boyfriend that supports this decision. It’s scary. Being 25 is scary.
    Everybody I went to school with are either married and they all have children, or have already finished college and have careers. I feel like I was the only one out of the bunch that missed the train en route to Grownupville and Successfulburg and didn’t even realize it.
    Thank you for this entry. I needed this.

  65. Well said. Age is just a number. Too many times we get caught up in the expectations of ourselves and the expectations of others. In order to find our true calling we have to remove all of that clutter and be truthful to ourselves. Let’s quit making excuses to justify the mold and start making promises to live more true to our calling regardless of how different it is from everyone else’s. If you don’t live with that intent, you’ll never truly live.

  66. Hi there!
    I found this post through several people on FB and it seems to be making the rounds on social media, so congrats!! As a fellow twentysomething, this post really hit home. I have very similar views as you on life, though people will always try to get you to fit into the societal molds of today. Consider me your newest reader, and I can’t wait to read about the life experiences you have had that gave you the views you have today. Cheers to traveling, experiencing and living :)

  67. This really made me feel a lot better about the pressure that I feel being 24. I’m not ready for any of this yet, I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up!

  68. I know you said 25, but today is my 23rd birthday. Ironically, I ran into this blog before heading to class. As a current 5th-year senior, combined with turning 23, I’m already starting to feel these pressures. In fact, they were starting to dictate some aspects of my life. I’m not a huge blogger, but I feel as though I was meant to read this. Thank you very much for your inspiring words. I’m not gonna fall into age stereotypes; rather, I’m gonna start knocking off some stuff from the ol’ bucket list. It’s time for that leap of faith.

  69. This post is so spot on…. I am 25 (well 25 1/2) and I literally feel like I have been going through a midlife crisis at 25! In a life I’ve felt so happy and comfortable in before (to a certain degree… I like to push myself out of my comfort zones), this year I have been comparing myself to others my age and trying to figure out what I SHOULD be doing. Like, wow, I am already 25, have I accomplished anything? And then trying to figure out where I fit in with everyone else. It is silly really. In just the past month, I have been working more on myself and my own goals rather than comparing myself to others! A lot of my friends are engaged, married, have children… but that’s just not what I want right now. In the future, YES. I believe I will. But for now, I’m happy where I am. And so again, I don’t think I could have said it any better than you did right here! “don’t change your journey to match someone else’s” and “enjoy where you are” I am going to do just that!

  70. Thank you for the affirmation that what I am doing in my 25 year old life, may actually be right! I was a homecoming queen, college cheerleader, and on the road to living a glamorous life traveling and finding my perfect job. Until my last semester of college, when I found out that my boyfriend and I were expecting a baby girl. I was hesitant about my decision to become a young unmarried mother, because it wasn’t the “perfect journey” that I saw myself taking. I took a leap of faith and decided that it was my destiny to be a great mother and partner to her father. We couldn’t be happier now with each other and as parents. We both have careers that we love and we still get to travel and experience things that any other 25 year old would dream to do. And here’s the kicker…we have done it all alone. Our families live hours away, so we have been forced to be independent and make our lives great without anyone’s help! I have learned that it doesn’t matter what the “status quo” is for people your age. It’s about doing EXACTLY what you feel in your heart to be right and be proud of those decisions!! “Daring GREATLY”…

  71. Hi, I usually never comment on anything I read, but this is the third time I have read a blog post on this particular topic. In my opinion, we as women should not worry about comparing ourselves to each other, or look at someone else’s life and assume they have the perfect scenario. Women who have chosen to get married and have children have also made sacrifices in order to provide for their families and may struggle to find thier own balance. As women we need to stop comparing our careers, lifestyles, looks, etc to each other. It only harbors self pity and insecurities. When I was 18 I never planned on getting married, the idea of taking care of someone for the rest of my life did not seem appealing, but I fell in love, married, and now I have a sweet baby boy. I get criticized for leaving my career behind to stay home and take care of my son, and that is not fair either. People comment that 26 is too young to start a family. I wouldn’t trade what I have built for anything in the world. What I say to those people is to “mind their own business” and I encourage you to do the same. As women we tear each other down and question each other, it’s not right. I apologize if I am rambling, but I assure you, no matter your choice–someone will find fault. Own who you are, be proud of yourself, and find joy in your current situation. Life changes, priorities change, and you will sacrifice something with every decision. You make, but be confident. Hope you find what you are looking for, and support other women no matter their life choice. Good luck. :)

  72. Sometimes I wonder whether or not I’ve done everything I want to do, and taken the risks I wanted to take. I’ve always wanted to go to Australia… but I also want to buy a house with my man and start a family. But then I realize that I DID travel to Europe in my early twenties, and even though I didn’t move to Australia for a year, I moved across the country to Whistler, B.C on my own at 19.
    So I just want to let your readers know that of course, you have to follow your Big dreams, but don’t forget to celebrate the small, but adventurous things you have done as well! Maybe one day I will go to Australia, but for now I will celebrate the fact that I moved to a new place all by myself, had an adventure, and made it out alive! <3

  73. What a wonderful post! I think exactly like you do. I’m 26 and have decided in a year to move to Spain and teach English. I am mortified to make the change but it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Sometimes I think I am getting too old to just up and leave (even though 26 is so young) but when else will I do it?! Everyone should just live instead of worrying so much.

  74. Like many others, I feel like I deeply resonate with the idea of being twenty-something. I just started my master’s degree in education: I want to be a high school biology teacher! It’s really stressful when everyone in the program is constantly talking about getting a job and settling into a particular district! I’m only twenty-two! I definitely don’t feel ready for settled yet. There are a million things I want to do first. It’s good to know that there are other people who feel the same way I do, and who are acting on it without being constrained by where we should be at a given age.

    I’m not entirely sure how to reblog properly, but you’ve inspired me to start blogging (if only to keep track of things like this that I find). I put a link to this in my first entry. I’m at jg20something.blogspot.com. I figured I ought to tell you!

    Thanks for such a lovely post. You made my morning.

  75. one of my friends posted this article on facebook and I am so glad I read it. I have no idea who you are but you just made my day. I’m in an awesome mood now. I feel in charge of my life even though I have absolutely no idea where it’s taking me. I’m turning 25 in April and everything you described about turning 25 is how I’m feeling. Crazy. You’re an awesome writer, keep it up! :)

  76. Girl this is exactly what i needed to read today! Thank you for your awesomeness!! I never follow blogs, but I came across yours today and i fell in love with your words and positive outlook in life. Looking forward to your inspiration everyday:)

  77. Very refreshing and energizing. It brought to mind this quote that I like to live by (but had to look up officially lol) from a book called “Mutant Message Down Under” (Marlon Morgan). Some of the last remaining aboriginal Australians lived by the motto: “During our journey there were two occasions that we celebrated by honoring someone’s talent. Everyone is recognized by a special party, but it has nothing to do with age or birthdate – it is in recognition of uniqueness and contribution to life. They believe that the purpose for the passage of time is to allow a person to become better, wiser, to express more and more of one’s beingness. So if you are a better person this year than last, and only you know that for certain, then you call for a party. When you say you are ready, everyone honors that.”
    Its kind of unique how they dont celebrate growing older, which seem rather ambiguous, and instead celebrate growing better/wiser/stronger- an accomplishment much more deserving of a party.

  78. I think you need to view this http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20.html

    There are a lot of things that might be fun to do in your 20s, but once you spend time, you can’t get it back. If you’re in your 30s and change your mind, you can’t go back. So rather than just blowing your years, it might be a good idea to have a rough plan, revisit/revise it often, and always keep time for some fun. You have to realize that you are not a child and can’t completely let go and just hope everything turns out well.

    1. Was just gonna post this. Dreaming is adorable while someone else foots the bill. No one promised us 20 something’s a rose garden. I just turned 29 yesterday. I have a college education and a full time job and went around the world on my own accord. Also just coming up on my first wedding anniversary in 2 weeks. Life comes at you hard and fast and there’s no rewind button… So enjoy while you get your plans in order. Cheers!!!

  79. Reblogged this on Chop To It and commented:
    This is an amazing inspiring blog post – I am married, but I feel like I’ve done nothing with my life yet. This is who I strive to be as I get older (what she challenges).

  80. By the time I reached the part where she says “the problem is, that can be quite the responsibility, to live your life the way you want to, rather than they way you are expected to.”, I knew I was going to share this. I had a very empowering moment of “I thought I was the only one!”

  81. One of my twenty something daughters just posted this on her FB and I couldn’t agree more. At 52 I can look back on a great life so far, but choices had to be made to get there…leaving an unhappy marriage to start again with my Mr. Right, leaving a good job at 30 to stay home to spend the best years with our 2 wonderful girls, which we were fortunate to be able to afford with my husband’s salary and some expense trimming, changing part time jobs several times after they started school to be there when they needed me the most, getting my Masters in Elementary Ed at 47 to enable me to work with other children which gives me more fulfillment than more prestigious, better paying careers.
    You only have one lifetime! Be responsible but do what makes you the happiest. Everyone’s priorities are different. Stand by your decisions that are right for who you are, and no one should second guess you!
    Our daughters are happily pursuing nursing careers, my husband is winding down to retirement in 3 or 4 years, and all of love spending time together and travelling. When our oldest graduates next year we are off to Italy and a return trip to Paris!
    Anticipate the future but always remember to enjoy today!

  82. Reblogged this on Not So Skinny Genes and commented:
    Every fibre of my being is at odds with each other over wanting what I should have versus accepting that there’s no “right” way to live your life besides being a good, loving, empathetic person. Letting your life happen is hard for someone like me who wants to know how the book ends and wants to plan everything in between… but why stress over the future and miss the present?

  83. I came across your blog post on Facebook and it’s exactly what I needed to hear! I am 28 years old and feel that everyone keeps asking me why I’m not married yet. I am currently considering quitting my job and moving to Ecuador with my boyfriend (He is from there) to start a new life – Stress free and be able to actually enjoy life instead of working 24/7. I thank you for your amazing words and know exactly what I need to do now!

  84. Yes, your message is wonderful, but your writing style is what makes it stick. Keep writing girl. Coming from a 24 (almost 25) year old who has chewed up and spit out the “right path” multiple times in the past year, I thank you for this. More people need to hear it.

  85. Following your blog NOW.
    This is a great post. I’m turning 28 in Nov. and toying with the idea of moving to Hawaii for a year. My parents looked at me like I was psycho but now I don’t feel so out of place…

  86. A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and I am so glad I read it! I can definitely relate and love your point of view. It’s scary to live life on your own terms and not someone else’s!

  87. Incredible post – I feel like you connected to me and it seems like you did the same for many others judging by all the comments. I just turned 28 and have decided to refocus my life in a different way, my way, and to stop trying to live the life that people expect of me at 28. You’re wonderful for sharing this and I’m so grateful you did!

  88. One of my FB friends posted this and, as a 21-year-old college senior who has no idea what to do with the rest of her life, I thought I’d read this hoping for some inspiration–and I found it! All of my family keeps pressing me about getting a job after graduation, finding a place to live, maybe going to grad school, and my friends are already networking and trying to find jobs…and I’m just over here like, “I just wanna travel, eat, and be happy!” With all these expectations floating around me of what college grads are supposed to do, it’s hard to focus on what I really want and how I want to live my life. Thank you for reminding me that I don’t need to be held back because of a number, and that I can live my own life at my own pace. This is a great thing to keep in the back of my mind :) Thank you!

  89. Lovely. True. As a 62 year old, I have enjoyed a gazillion experiences, some good, some bad, all educational. And yes, my age is my age… My hair is the color it wants to be, which is grey, I dress like I want and do not give a crap about ‘looking young’. I am not 20, 30, 40, or 50. I am 62. And I like it…It is a great age….I would rather be an authentic 62 than be a poor imitation of 45….It’s all good, just enjoy.

  90. Thanks a lot for this post! It was beautiful and oh so true. It made me cry. Young women nowadays have much more opportunities then 100 (or just 50) years ago.
    But with these opportunities and freedom also comes more responsibility and much more pressure. It is true, society doesn´t expect us anymore to just marry and become a good housekeeper, neglecting all those other talents we have. But today, they expect us to do it all: Husband, kids, job, career, household…
    Failures are frowned upon.

    And there are so many women out there who pretend that they can do it all, although deep down they are insecure, desperate, sad, confused,…
    Wouldn´t it make this everything that is called life a little bit easier if we sometimes would just admit that we struggle…with life, with decisions, with ourselves?

    I am currently working on an anthology about this topic. It will be purely fictional (a few short stories) but is inspired by young women´s real stories.
    We need a voice, we need people to realize that we are struggling to find our place in this world although on the outside everything seems to be fine, perfect even. So, if you would like to share your story or just your thoughts don´t hesitate to get in touch with me.
    We are all in the same boat after all. If that is good or bad I do not know…

    Keep going, Girls! We can do it!

  91. Reblogged this on What The Huck and commented:
    The #trend on Facebook today seemed to be posting a lot of thought provoking, “life” articles revolving around our 20s. I guess I’m not the only one going through a senior identity crisis! This one in particular resonated with me, especially in the wake of my last post.

  92. Great insights! And as a fellow 25-year old, I completely agree. I actually just got married, and to me that is super weird, because I never thought I would be married until like 30! I sometimes feel like I am just pretending to be a grown up. I am married and own a house, and I still would happily exist on hot pockets if my hubs didn’t cook:) It’s a wild ride we’re on!

    1. Congratulations on getting married, that is so wonderful!! I definitely can relate to feeling like I am just pretending to be a grown-up–I’m glad I am not the only one! I hope you enjoy your new adventure of marriage and non-hot pocket meals! Thank you so much for reading my blog and taking the time to comment on it :)

  93. So I didn’t read the other comments but I wanted to say that this post is beautiful, and to thank yo for sharing something so inspiring and touching like this. It actually reminded me of this book I just finished – “The Defining Decade” by Dr. Meg Jay. That book…wow…it really surprised me with the insight. Dr. Jay talks about what you touch upon in this post – how your 20s come with certain external pressures and how to manage those external *(and internal)* expectations. I think you’d like this book (or perhaps you’ve already read it).
    You rock. Keep up the good work.
    The Green-Eyed Guide

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and post on my blog!! It makes my day to hear that you found the post to be inspirational and touching :). I haven’t read the book you talked about, but I am excited to add it to my reading list! I looovee book recommendations, so I will definitely be reading it! I hope you have a wonderful day…thank you for brightening mine!

      1. You are so sweet. You inspired me to post this short essay I wrote awhile back – I had one of those hugs that lasted forever (it was saying goodbye to an x, ‘nuf said) and it made me think about how powerful hugs can be.

        The Power of a Hug

        I love the way you write. I look forward to reading your posts in the future.

  94. This is how I want to live my life, especially in my 20’s right now! It’s so important to learn to live in the moment, and live out our dreams before it’s too late. If you want to do something, go after it. :)

  95. Reblogged this on Humyn and commented:
    This blog post is filled with great advice. Even if you’re not in your
    20’s, it’s an important post to read. Inspiring words and ideas. If you have dreams, go after them! This is how I’m going to live my life.

  96. great thoughts! i’m almost 28, and certainly feel the heat from society’s typical ideas of twenty-almost-thirtysomethings… it’s nice to stumble upon reminders that we are not alone. this may sound incredibly ridiculous, but i think jennifer anniston does exactly this. she is a woman who does exactly what she pleases, and doesn’t give a damn about how she is received!!! it seems to have served her very well :) – Emma


  97. I loved this. Absolutely loved it. I’m 22 and for the most part don’t know what I want to do with my life. I have an idea, but it’s hard to choose something to do every single day for the next 30-40 years! So I’m commenting to let you know how much I appreciate hearing “change you mind” multiple times in this post. Cause I refuse to be ordinary and be stuck in one place my entire life. Thank youuu

    – Katelyn

  98. I really enjoyed this one! I love that you’re sending positive vibes out into the world; I am aiming to do the same with my blog as well! The world can use more joy for sure! Thanks for the post, and I’d love for you to check out my own blog as well!

  99. My 29 year old daughter shared this, but we just had this conversation today about our 20 year old. Life is not about a number, or where you are in life, it is about doing what you are passionate about, but making life choices that you can live with.

  100. Omg, I absolutely love this post. I started a bucket list blog a couple months ago and as an early 20-something, who will be graduating soon I can completely relate you what you’re saying. A freshman asked me today what I plan on doing when I graduate and at first, it seemed a little scary to tell her I wasn’t sure. But after creating my blog, I’ve become more content with that. This post substantiates that feeling, so thank you :)

  101. You hit the nail on the head, girl. You must be one heck of a person. Thank you for helping me to lift a little of the weight off of my own shoulders and to remember that I’m here, right now.

  102. ” hold on. slow down. and breathe in. ” YES, YES, YES! Sorry, but the capital letters were very much necessary! I just started my project where I’m going to go out and live my life and encourage others to do the same (thepassionhunt.com) . I am SO happy to read this blog post and find people that are already doing and writing such wonderful things. Thank you so much for the dose of inspiration and it’s such a great thing to read when I’m starting out on my journey!!

  103. Sure my life is my own but that isn’t the whole story. Life is not contained down to one being, life is shared. I think I understand the importance of what you are trying to say in this but I also see dangers as well. Yes my life is mine, but not only mine. I am connected with many people who share my life and my decisions and interactions and I would be foolish not to be considering their input. You are already unique, an individual. Your genetics and personality prove this fact. Life is not about proving your individualness but rather your connectedness your, journey into community. Growing up is growing out, investing in others and becoming more than an individual. How can we learn to be parents as twentysomethings if we focus on our life? We cannot, we exclude our partner, our child, our parents, our siblings and our friends from the process. Enjoy life yes, be spontaneous yes, enjoy yourself as an individual, but you cannot exclude everyone else and that is what is missing from this post. Everyone else. True fulfillment is outside of the individual and found in the painful, messy, confusing, dangerous, misunderstood and committed relationship with everyone else. We are connected in life, we cannot deny that, so why not live lives that reflect that fact?

  104. Just awsome!! One of my friends shared the site with me to make me feel how exactly she feels in her twenties. You just kept me at the edge of the chair, it was that inspiring. I mean it is so true that it’s not the age..but its the life. I am the driver of my life…it doesnt matter in what age I am. Well I too wish you have a wonderful life ahead and many more smiling days. :) Cheers!!

  105. Wow this is definitely a breath of fresh air! I just turned 22 and I have friends who are married from left to right and babies popping like crazy…not to exaggerate. I also have a sister who is just one year older and is more mature than me in every way…makes me feel like a kid. But I wanted to say that I’m doing just this. Although I am still in college I took a semester before I graduate and went abroad to Europe! I’ll finally get to travel and see the places that I’ve only read before. I’m so excited! Thank you for the blog, Cheers!

  106. Thank you.

    for the sadness and the joy your words brought to my heart. for the hopes and fears too. for this nostalgia that makes me strong and weak at the same time. for the eyes wide openned on where I still want to go, and the eyes closed on all I have already been through.

    Thank you.

    for the nice reminder. we often forget to “hold on. slow down. and breathe in”.

    ..also, now I see better that my mom is still a child, and my little daughters already have mature thoughts.

  107. This is amazing!!! So me!!! Thank you for sharing with me/us your thoughts and insight. It is very liberating to know there are others who are going through the same stuff!!! :D Such a relief!!

  108. Wow!!! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me/us. Exactly what has been on my mind this last year!! So freeing to know that I am not the only one experiencing this. Wow. Thank you!!! What a relief!!! :)

  109. I’m 30 and I haven’t gotten married, don’t have a stable job and don’t have my own house. I just live with my boyfriend’s mom in her basement. My boyfriend doesn’t have a stable job either. (Damn you economy!) so that’s why we can’t get married if we don’t have money and insurance. So I feel pressured to be married and having kids (which we both don’t want kids).

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  111. This was a lovely post. As a mid-20’s female going through a lot of changes myself, i understand that it’s about what you want to do in life, not what is expected of you. I wrote a web-series relating to that very idea. It’s called Catch-30 (www.catch30.com). It’s about 7 friends questioning everything they have been conditioned to believe is the norm for their lives (when to get married, what career to have, how many kids, how many dogs, etc). The trailer is on our site if you’d like to check it out. Great work!

  112. I completely agree that twenty somethings need to explore the world around them, find time to grow as individuals, and try (hard as it might be) not to compare themselves to other people. I do feel, however, that this is a decade that defines us. If we continue to believe that twenty somethings have all the time in the world to figure out what we want to do in life, we’ll end up in our late twenties or enter our thirties wondering where the time has gone and “why haven’t I done the things I wanted to yet?” I think it is more important to actively work toward finding realistic goals for our dreams, and finding a balance between self-exploration and self-improvement.

    A post that defines my views more: http://chanelviolet.blogspot.com/2013/09/my-life-fell-apart-how-to-guide-i-didnt.html

    Also, thank you for the interesting read.

  113. Hi there…great blog…..I m 25 and exactly the feelings are same……few years back, I was curious 2 know how I would be at this age but now I guess 20’s was the best age. All the responsibility stuff and yes especially when everyone wants you to be married at this age is sometimes annoying. My life should be my life only according to my plans and wishes!
    I enjoy reading ur thoughts:)

  114. I am going to be turning 30 in a few short months and I have noticed as the months, days, minutes and seconds of my 20s drift away I have spent far too much time analyzing myself and where I should be or what I should have done. Society is a like that nagging great aunt of life who directs our vision to our so-called shortcomings rather than all that we have and could be. So thank you. Thank you for reminding me that I am about to be 30 years young, Thank you for saying it’s ok to be right where you are as long as you are true to yourself. Thank you for telling us all that living a life by other people’s standards is no life at all……….just thank you :)

  115. Thank you for this!!!!!! I can 100% relate, just got out of a 3 and a half year relationship that I thought would be my last, just within a month of being single I am truly myself again, alive. And enjoying being young, just living and doing whatever I want for me. Thank you, thank you for these amazing words, so very true! And so many people fall into these stereotypes for the wrong reasons!

  116. I’d like to comment from a slightly different perspective. As someone who, at 26, has done all of the “right things” in life (got married, had a baby, bought a house, have a wonderful career), I found myself feeling as though I made all of the wrong choices in life and envied those around me and all of their freedom. Then one day I realized something: just because we find ourselves unhappy with our lives, doesn’t mean we can’t change it. Having children and a career isn’t a death sentence. Sometimes it’s all about taking risks in life to help make yourself and therefore those around you happy. I’d rather show my daughter that life is something to be enjoyed, rather than one big unhappy obligation. So thank you for this reminder to truly ENJOY our lives, every moment of them.

    1. Haha, reading this comment makes me feel like I’ve written it. Totally agree. You can’t be a good to others if you are not good to yourself. But also, we need to be grateful for everything we do have and focus on the positive so that we can enjoy everything we have.

  117. I love your blog! I think we have similar writing styles and as I was reading your writing, it’s exactly how I would have written it…which is super creepy. Haha. Anyways, good luck from one twentysomething to another!

  118. hey and warm hug from Ukraine :-)

    thanks for a post. I have just seen it on a facebook that my friend from Sydney liked the link and I felt I must follow it and read. Oh wow how nice to see that I am not alone. You know, you made my life a bit happier because I see there are so many people around with similar thoughts and situation. I was not so brave in my twentysmth’s to live as I wanted to live, I turned 30 this year however I slowly started to travel and see how big the world is. Not that I regret much about years that I spent in my unsuccessful marriage or being a few years on boring office job but I always had a quiet inner voice inside me that I was missing something.

    it is also was a bit disappointing that I better not discuss my plans with close friends or relatives because normally they do not support you or they ask what are you running from and when you gonna settle down :-( So, internet and such blogs like this are helping me so much.

    Each and everyone has fears to start smth new and what a blessing that you are so brave to share your experience and collect in comments so many like-minded people!!!

    thank you and God bless you and may He gives you so much inspiration as you only want ;-)

    [plz do not put much attention to my grammar]

    1. I know I’m going to sound repetitive, but I can’t describe how much I needed to hear exactly these words! I’m so glad I came across this post. Utterly moved. Absolutely inspired. Thank you.

  119. Hi all,

    Having moved away from my hometown, it’s made it a lot easier to let go of this fictional peer group a little more and just start thinking about what sweet life moves can I make? Why not have a creative career? Why not try thinking about life on my own terms? Do I even want to be like my peers? Not at all, the idea is depressing. What new special friends will I meet? How have I hit the jackpot in so many other ways?

    I think stuff just really gets real at 25, especially if you’ve chosen the undergrad route and are a new grad around that age. It’s the first time we have to get practical and think: “I’m growed up a bit” and “I have to make a life for myself”. It’s a terrifying but really beautiful realisation.

  120. This doesn’t say anything besides “i don’t know how to capitalize letters”.

    It’s the most pointless, back and forth article I’ve ever read. In summary, “live your life the way you want to” is terrible advice. No shit, you can say that to anyone about anything. You should be building a foundation for life when you’re in your 20’s, not wasting money traveling around the world and “cutting your hair short”. Get a job. Make good life decisions. Make investments, both financially and socially. If you don’t, all of a sudden you’re 30 with no money, no happiness, and nothing accomplished in life. Your 20’s isn’t a decade to just figure things out. Use it to your advantage and stop reading these ditzy articles.

    Much better article/video/message for the “20 somethings” out there: http://www.ted.com/talks/meg_jay_why_30_is_not_the_new_20.html

    1. Hi Jared!

      Even though you disliked the post, thank you for taking the time to read and comment on it. I both agree and disagree with your comment….

      I agree that your 20’s are a great time to build a foundation for your future which should absolutely include making good life decisions such as saving money, investing, and advancing your career. I also believe however, that in addition to these things your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s (etc.) can also be filled with traveling, experiencing new cultures, and helping others…. or whatever else you may want to do. I strongly believe this because I have done both. As a 25 year old, I have graduated with my Master’s degree, am two years into my professional career, 8 months away from being out of debt with student loans (and have no other debt), have established a savings, and most recently began an IRA. I believe all of these things are important. However, I have also filled up my 20’s with traveling to 12 different countries, volunteering weekly, mentoring a child in foster care, living in NYC for a summer, and learning in every (and any) way possible because these things are important to me too. My other point of disagreement is that I do know how to capitalize letters, I just choose not to on my blog. I know that it is annoying and that it really bothers some people, but it originally started out as a personal blog so I felt I had the right to write in any way that I chose. I haven’t watched the video you posted yet, but I most definitely will. I am sure it makes some very valid points and I always enjoy learning from another perspective. Thanks again for taking your time to comment, I hope you have a great night :)


      1. P.S. several of my other blog posts discuss my beliefs on the importance of hard work (…because of lengthening the fuse, …because the love of the game) and saving money (…because if you save money, you have money)… you may not be interested in reading them, but just wanted to let you know they are there :)

    2. Jared,

      Perhaps you think travelling around the world is “wasted money”, but could you please respect the decisions of others who think it’s precisely the opposite? The whole point of this blog post is that different things make different people happy, and to do whatever YOU find makes YOU happy. I am who I am today because of the travelling I’ve done. And I KNOW I’m a better, stronger, more thankful, well-rounded and independent person because of it. The confidence in myself I’ve gained through my travels is certainly not “wasted money”. Discovering who I am and what I’m capable of through travelling is how I’m building my “foundation for life”. I don’t pass judgement on how you build yours.

      I watched the TED talk you posted about weeks ago, and what I took away from it is that you should be making meaningful and thoughtful choices and decisions in your 20’s that will help set you up for success for the rest of your life. It is not your place, however, to tell people in which ways they should arrive at those conclusions.

  121. Thank you for writing this post. I think this is how many of us twenty somethings feel, as we have chosen a path that strays away from the norm. It can be difficult at times to ignore peoples prying questions and expectations.
    Thank you for the affirmation that it isn’t necessary to fit into the mold.

    One of my favorite authors (Madeleine L’Engle) has some beautiful words about age as well. I think you might like them.

    “I am still every age that I have been. Because I was once a child, I am always a child. Because I was once a searching adolescent, given to moods and ecstasies, these are still part of me, and always will be… This does not mean that I ought to be trapped or enclosed in any of these ages…the delayed adolescent, the childish adult, but that they are in me to be drawn on; to forget is a form of suicide… Far too many people misunderstand what *putting away childish things* means, and think that forgetting what it is like to think and feel and touch and smell and taste and see and hear like a three-year-old or a thirteen-year-old or a twenty-three-year-old means being grownup. When I’m with these people I, like the kids, feel that if this is what it means to be a grown-up, then I don’t ever want to be one. Instead of which, if I can retain a child’s awareness and joy, and *be* fifty-one, then I will really learn what it means to be grownup.”

    1. Jessica,

      I just found your blog and this was the first post I read.

      As a 26-year old, “still figuring it all out” guy…. Thank you. I find one of these “quarter-life crisis” posts seemingly every morning over my oatmeal and coffee and yet not one of them has made me pause, put down my spoon and slightly chipped coffee mug and appreciate where I am in life.

      You are truly poetic. Thank you.


      1. Hi Andy,

        Thank you so much for your comment and for taking the time to read this post. I cannot express how much your comment means to me, especially because that is exactly what I was shooting for– taking the time to pause, slow down, and appreciate where you are in life. You are so kind and have brought some extra sunshine into my life today, thank you.


        P.S. I am an oatmeal and coffee for breakfast kind of person too :)

  122. Thanks for sharing this! OMG I can totally relate!! :S I actually wrote a similar post on my blog las week about how we should never wait for the “perfect moment” to do things, you have to just DO IT so it can be perfect! So I went back to school to get a masters! Here’s my post, check it out when you have time :) http://www.barbara-medina.com/…/

  123. Its like reading my own diary! this is my life this exact moment, I am almost 25 i quiet my job, stop my relationship, and .. I am in India for the whole year :) and i have many other plans for the next two years!

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  125. Greetings! Spot on. Could it be any more fitting. Your writeup kept me at the edge of the chair its rather beautiful seeing my insane world of thoughts painted on another canvas. Thank you for putting it up. Just because I’m a twenty-something I have every reason to reason my happiness. We spend all the pretty time trying to please the world around us but before allowing any outdoor control we should wait for a rebound yes from within. All the what If’s have ruined personal dreams and joys. I have started to live by the moment and its the prettiest feeling ever. From what i have gathered in life I want to take all these memories in my travel bag up to the nth mark I live. I have realized that only 5 years back i was crazy, silly and immature..now I’m even more;) and the crazy unleashed makes me feel the best. Really now your fancy harmless approach to life is no weapon against anybody for them to shell you with their respective beliefs.

    Oprah ‘ If u want your life to be more rewarding you have to change the way you think’. Stop looking at the clouds to part, there will be a rainbow if you form one in your heart:) Cheers:)

    Thank you this blog made my day:)

  126. Must I add that hug that leap of faith no matter how bad the phase and don’t let all those half baked, inconclusive thoughts hold you back from your much deserving self:)

  127. I loved the topic of this post and the challenge to your readers to take risks. However, it would have been so much easier to read and pick out your key ideas if you had only been able to find the Shift key on your keyboard. Starting a new sentence with a capitalized word is not just a silly grammar rule…it’s a strategy that helps your readers to pay more attention to the content of your writing.

  128. Wow, this post really resonates with me. I’m 24 right now, a year ish out of college, and I feel totally lost at times. Or all the time? I definitely feel held back from my age. Sometimes I feel not ready or old enough to do what I truly want to, but other times I feel too old to be doing what I am doing, which isn’t much. I assumed a career would be worked out by now, but it’s not. That doesn’t just magically come because of age, which is a huge misconception in our culture.

    This is very encouraging, though. No matter where we are in life, it will never fit the mold perfectly. And even if it did, would that even make us happy?

  129. I saw this posted on someone’s fcebook. I’m on my 22s but i feel like this speaks to me in so many ways. It’s so easy to forget life because we’re constantly trying to do the “right thing” now that we’re “grown ups”. Thanks for this refreshing post! xx

  130. Like many of the previous commenters, I found this entry and blog through a friend’s post. Thank you for this very simple reminder. I’m soon to be 28 but this still hits home. I finished my master’s a few years ago and have been in the professional world since, wrestling with the ‘big issues’ right now…where do I want to live, places that I have been considering for internships, going back to get my PhD, what do I want for a long-term relationship. It can be so easy to feel swayed or pressured in one direction seeing marriage/engagement/baby/kids pictures and postings on my Facebook newsfeed everyday. I have to continue to remind myself what it is that I want.

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  132. Hi,

    I enjoyed this article. The paragraph that talks about jumping reminded me of Darieth Chisolm’s new Facebook Fan Page — I think it’s called the Jump Diaries. or Jump Pages. Look it up — you may want to post there. :)

  133. I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed this post. As a 26 (soon to be 27) year old, I feel a lot of the same things… You did a wonderful job expressing the way I think so many of us feel.

    I also feel the need to comment on some of the other commenters. I am sure that it will draw criticism, but I am OK with that. I feel that the meaning of this post misinterpreted by some. You aren’t telling people to only focus on themselves, or drop everything and travel, or don’t get a job. I think the point that was missed by so many is that it is your life, and you have to do what makes you happy. It doesn’t matter what other people are doing or what others are achieving. You are the only one accountable for your happiness, because quite frankly, no one else is concerned about it. Yes, of course your mother, your father, your friends, etc., care that you are happy, but the only one that can really make that happen is you. Maybe you can’t drop everything and travel the world. But you can save your money and take a vacation to somewhere you have never been.

    I thought your post was beautifully written and really inspiring. Thank you.

    1. Thank you so so much Nikki!

      Your comment was exactly what I needed to read today. I was a little worried that I wasn’t being clear about the points I was trying to make and about some of the misinterpretations I’ve heard come from the post. Your comment is spot on with what I was trying to say :). I really appreciate you taking the time to comment on my post and respond to some of the criticism in a respectful way. This post-and my entire blog- is really about finding and creating your own happiness, being kind to others, and becoming your best self and I am so glad that that is what you got out of the post too. You’ve really brightened my day today, thanks again :)


  134. While I really like your point about not letting age define you, I think maybe you’ve missed the mark. You imply pressure to get married and have babies. But what if that is what you want? I am younger than 25 and I want these things so badly, but inversely I feel pressure from the ‘free-souled’ 25-ers to make my life a constant party. There is no normal- but at the same time there is no RIGHT. It is not RIGHT to impose what you want on somebody else. So when you think of that, apply it to yourself to. I have friends with kids, I have friends who have great jobs, I have friends who are clueless about where they will be tomorrow, and I have friends who like to pass out drunk. There isn’t a right path. The struggle is when you want to have both of those lives. Should I be a responsible human being who sacrifices happiness or be a happy free spirit doing whatever I please no matter the cost to others? I to applaud you on putting this in a social media forum, reason being facebook has turned against me. Every day is your highschool reunion. From online it seems so great to be drunk, partying, and carefree… but in real life if you don’t have a hard core career than you’re just trash on the ground. If we are a society based on choices, does that not imply that we are also a society based on comparisions?

    1. Hi Hattie,

      I couldn’t agree more with you. What I was trying to say in the post was to do what is right for you, whatever that may be. I too have friends with kids, friends who are married, friends who are still in college, friends who are currently traveling the world, friends who have just began their careers, and friend who haven’t done any of the above… I think all of these things are wonderful. I absolutely believe that there can be societal pressure from all sides. In the post I say, “I hope you don’t do any of these things or that you do them all” and what I really meant to say was that we all are responsible for making the most out of our lives and selves. We all have different strengths, passions, abilities, and interests and it is up to all of us to decide what we want to make of them. What I was trying to say is exactly what you have said in your comment, “there isn’t a right path.” :)

  135. Hi I really enjoyed reading this and shared it on Facebook because I knew it would hit home for so many of my friends! I have a blog here on WordPress (same theme as yours) called Quarterlife Blessings that I have had for a while, but haven’t shared it with anyone yet. I guess I’ve been afraid? Well I must say that you have inspired me to share it and stay more committed to it, so I will now :)


    1. Hi Sarah!

      Thank you so much for reading this blog post and for sharing it with your friends/family on facebook, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that :). I am excited that you have been inspired to share your blog and spend more time writing on it… I can’t wait to spend some time reading your blog!

      I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful day :)


  136. Hi! You’re blog post is amazing, it’s exactly what I’m feeling now. I’m 25, turning 26 this December. 2 years ago I took a leap of faith and joined the US Navy, finished bootcamp and I can tell you, this is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I’ve been away from my mom and dad since then. I’ve been to Chicago (lived here for 10 months, I love this city), Virginia and I’m currently I’m here in Japan because I wanted to explore the world, and at the same time work, and serve my country. I’m having the time of my life. Yes, I do live in a ship, and I sleep in a small rack, but I get to explore Japan as well, and many more. I’m really thankful for this opportunity. I have the love of my life (he’s in the Navy too) and a couple of friends here with me, and they make each day here so enjoyable. I get to eat legit Japanese food, went to see the Giant Buddha, I plan to climb Mt. Fuji (let’s see how that will go), go to the cherry blossom festival next year, and there’s so much more. And I can go back to the Philippines, where I spent almost all my life.

    Being 25 for me, means:
    >Learn more stuff and explore the world.
    >Having fun and making memories with the people you love.
    >Smile, and know when to use your tears.
    >Make mistakes and learn from them.
    >Travel while you can.
    >Don’t be afraid to try something new, because life is short, we should LIVE IT.
    >Don’t get stuck living in your comfort zone.

    but the most important thing to me, is FOLLOW YOUR HEART, BUT BRING YOUR BRAIN WITH YOU. :)

  137. Hi. I’m 23 years old and keep telling everyone that I’m 18. Hahahaha. I kinda have a baby face.
    I’ve always been a little terrified by my age. I always thought, even in my adolescence: “I’m already this age and still have accomplished so little.”
    Now I’m finally getting my degree. But my plans keep being postponed year by year. I don’t have the life I thought I would have by now. I’m not the person I thought I would be by now.
    But I’m not giving up my dreams. Doesn’t matters my age.
    I still want to travel the world. Have more girlfriends and breakups. Meet new friends and old friends. Work in various companies, small projects, big projects. Study more, learn more, live more. I still want the life of my dreams!
    Your text told me: “Live your life, doesn’t matters your age, or what your life is.”
    It’s really inspiring! Thank you!

  138. I help run a site called Quarterlette.com and a friend of mine sent this to me to post on our Facebook page knowing we’d find it relevant to our audience. It is certainly meaningful to the twenty and thirty somethings who follow us, but I found it particularly inspiring to read after a tough week at the office. Thank you for this!

  139. Your words have connected with hundreds of souls out there who agree age is just a number! Very inspiring post! Do what you want, listen to your heart, let the child in you be free, be yourself, do not get burdened by this society pressures….is all I’m saying :)

  140. Thank you so much. I’ve already shared this with three girlfriends have expressed these negative comparison sentiments in the past few days. This has made each and everyone of us feel better. Thanks for the reminder!!

  141. I am a 23 year old; turning 24 in just a few weeks. I am unemployed, and over the past few weeks I was beginning to get the feeling that I have zero prospects. I love to travel, but I don’t have money to do anything. It kind of sucks, to say the least. This post, however, made me feel just a little bit better about everything. Now I am sitting and eating a slice of chocolate cake which I didn’t have to pay for :)

  142. Great article Jessica. My friend Peter and I just launched a podcast called Story Junkie where we sit down with fascinating people who are willing to share their personal story. Anyway, we shared this blog post today and I hope our followers get a chance to read it :)

    1. Hi Nick!

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog! How can I listen to or subscribe to your podcast? That sounds like something I would definitely be interested in! :) Thank you so much for sharing my blog post, that really means a lot to me. :)

  143. Hi – I loved this article and totally agree! I’m a 24 yr old, single, female who moved back to my rural WI home with my folks to buy a bridal shop last year! I definitely hit a bit of a wall of my own life expectations and when I let that go, I was able to recognize all the cool random things I’m doing and appreciate my accomplishments more fully. I love you’re paragraph about taking a big jump – that’s what we are most free for doing right now!! I’ve always been inspired by this quote that I helped me realize that (especially in our twenties) life is about GETTING LOST and having adventures!

    “Sometimes on the way to a dream, you GET LOST and find a better one.”

    Adventure on!

    1. Hi- great article. I was having my coffee when I saw the link, posted by my friend on FB and I am so glad I follow it. Usually I wouldn`t post a replay, but something in it reminded me of myself and my own story. I am nearly 29 so you can see that my twentysomething years are almost done, but age is just a number or at least this is what I like to say. I was always making plans, setting goals for myself and executing them to the best of my abilities, so I have done it all, everything that I was supposed to, by the age of 24 (Master degree, offer for PhD, boyfriend etc. ) and then it was a feeling that appeared one day, there was something missing, but I couldn`t figure out what “I was supposed to feel happy, after all that was the plan, but I was not”. My mother always says that the best way to make God laugh is to tell him about your plans, so I think I gave him years of laughter and now I was to learn the lesson. An opportunity presented itself, 3 months language classes abroad (after all my English was never good)so I took it. Few months later I found myself in a small island in Mediterranean Sea on my way back home, saying “Goodbye” to the people I met, the old clock tower just opposite my window and everything that was home to me for my time there. You can imagine that I was in love with the place and naturally I decided that I will come back. All I needed to do was get the courage to do it .So I threw away my precious plans, get my plane tickets and got ready for my adventure. And what an adventure it turned out to be… I met obstacles, I met prejudice, I met friends that became my family away from home, I met love, but most importantly I met myself. I have learned that I have more in me than I though and if only I keep the spark in everything I do there will be a positive outcome and everything will fall into place when the time is right. And here I am now, nearly 29, married and as you may imagine I am on the Island looking at the see from my terrace, being happy because I made most of my twentysomething and unafraid of the 30s. My point is that as my favorite writer says in life we should be brave, take risks because nothing can substitute experience and 20s are good starting point  I really hope your own journey brings you everything you hope for. 

  144. This article has struck an inspirational epiphany for me. I’m a 20yo university student in Canada, raised with capitalistic roots whose notions I’ve always struggled with. I always felt like there was something better out there for me, living in the future. Recently I’ve been doing some soul searching and realized that life goes on, no matter how much of it you grasp. My new favourite expression “Right now is always right on time” perfectly portrays my new worldview; to take life into your own hands now. Change the way YOU want to change, and don’t look back. Mistakes are a part of that, but how else can you learn? Live in the moment and do what makes you happy. After all, the journey is the reward.

  145. So well written, thank you! totally what I need to hear every once and blue. I just turned 26 and I’m trying hard to do everything you’d said, but this life is our own and if we don’t live it that way we’ll never truly be happy! #reblog

  146. This post touched me deep inside, it was sent to me by my best friend in a private Facebook message, I guess because this post speaks out what we want to say, but won’t. I am 25 turning 26 on February, I have a good job, a very stressful one yet I like it as I love being busy head to toes ( even if this makes me wish I would die). The first paragraphs describes exactly my situation, no one cares if I can speak four languages fluently, if I have a good job and maybe if I don’t runaway at some point a promising career, everyone focuses only on the fact that I am not yet married while nearly everyone at my age and even much younger are married and probably already have kids. Some of these marriages are living hell, yet no one cares she’s married and I am not. I also love teaching kids, it has always been my dream since I was a kid myself ( funny but true). I used to work as a teacher but everyone treated me like a third class employee and parents treat teachers where I live like shit all the time, and of course the salaries are as low as it can get. I tried letting go and wandering around the streets of some Italian cities alone, it was an amazing experience. I wish I could let go and forget about molds like you said, but the problem is neither the society nor my family will forget about them :(

  147. This is truly one of the most amazing things ever written. You speak to everyone and inspired me to love life and not let me age control me. You really have brought tears to my eyes and I will think about this blog & what you wrote everyday.

  148. Great post! There’s so much pressure to have one’s life figured out in one’s 20s that I think we all need to just slow down and take a step back for a second and re-evaluate. You DON’T NEED TO HAVE IT ALL in your 20s like society tries to tell us. 20s is about self-discovery and more importantly should be about living for enjoyment and not always achievement. I’m going on 24 and I see it all the time with my peers, everyone is just ready to jump onto the next life milestone without enjoying the present moment and are just setting themselves up for discouragement if things don’t go as planned. Love where you are, have an idea of where you want to go, and know that it can all change. Come to the party ready and prepared, but don’t be bogged down about the time you have to leave or you might miss out on an important moment.

    Rakhi (littleblissbook)

  149. hi there — this made my day/week/year. thanks for articulating!

    would you mind shedding a little more light on the goals you set at twenty-four? obviously dont need any personal details or even specifics, but what types of goals? i turn twenty-four in a couple weeks and would love to try it.

    – cook more
    – spend less on clothes

    stuff like this? or more like

    – smile everyday
    – worry less


  150. I couldn’t agree more. I’m 22, unemployed, and at that point where I have to start exploring everything that’s out there, whatever that means. And absolutely, age is a number and everyone travels along a different journey and all that matters is finding yours. Great read, and look forward to reading more, Jerrica.

  151. Ah this was such a pleasant read! I’m 24 and very content with my life most of the time… But there are moments when I freak out about all my friends having it together… Career-wise, relationship-wise, a lot even have kids.. Some have bought cars, others are thinking of houses. And I’m still a student!
    But then I think about it, I’m free :) I travel like a mad woman. I jump into puddles and sometimes eat chocolate for dinner. Maybe my way of life is not the best for someone else, but it sure is the best for me!

  152. This is very inspiring indeed. I wept. This is so me. I’m a college dropout, working sporadically and no love life while most of my friends are successful, don’t get me wrong I love my friends and I’m happy for them. I just wish we hang out often. I miss them but they’re busy now and they have their own life.

  153. I am a guy, from the other side of the rock as you and two decades older, so totally opposite; but yet this resonated. Especially your last two paragraphs. How I wish more people accepted that and stopped calling “crazy/ weird” the ones who live those lines….

  154. Even as a late twenty something I can very much relate to this. Still seeking my love of my life, as the oldest single member of both sides of my families. Dealing with the pressure to find someone and “catch up” to my cousins as they start their own families. It’s though even being the last single person in a tight knit group of friends, being that 3rd,or 5th or 17th wheel… My time will come. I love my job, I’m happy with the house I’ve own for 6+ years… I make the most of every day life. Am I happy yes, but I yearn for so much more and that drives me. I may not be the richest man alive, sometimes it’s paycheck to paycheck, this economy is tough, but I will persevere. I have wonderful examples that surround me, I learn and take from them hoping to build me own perfect future. Thank you for this write! And Godspeed to all who agree!

  155. Bravo! On such a well written post. I am 25, and currently struggle with feeling tied down or held back by my age. I know exactly how it feels to feel how your post described!! You have inspired me to blog my own thoughts, that a lot of times I have such a hard time expressing. Thank you for writing about this. Though this can be a hard time in life, I am finally truly enjoying where I am, even if it’s not where I thought I’d be. I hope to read more of your thoughts and musings on life!

  156. Reblogged this on FuckI'mInMyTwenties and commented:
    your age is your age. but more importantly, your life is your life. don’t change your journey so that it matches someone elses. we need to walk different paths so the whole world can be explored. revel in the differences. and enjoy where you are.

    love this so much.

  157. Thank you. I really liked this. I’m trying to get into the idea of ‘its my life and im happy! I’m not going to compare it to your “perfect life” ‘ Reading this just got to me. I sent this to a friend and got this reply ” Well I would be lying if I said that article didn’t make me a tad emotional. I liked it hahah ”
    So, thanks for putting this out and inspiring someone else in the world.

  158. This article could not have come to me at a better time…I am a 24 year old American, living in Italy as a nanny…I made this choice about 1.5 years ago. My choices were either to bow under the pressure of having a stable career right out of college, and enroll in graduate school OR move to Italy for no reason other than an overwhelming desire to explore. This has been the most amazing year (plus) of my life. I have met so many people, learned my family’s heritage, traveled, grown…but most importantly, I did it for me, and I still am. It can be hard because sometimes (rarely) I have doubts. Am I doing the right thing to make a career later? Am I missing out on family & friends at home? I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, I have no idea if this is where I will end up in life, or if this is just a path leading me somewhere else. But what I do know, is that this is where I am supposed to be right now, and I cannot allow myself to worry about the what ifs or maybes. In this time, I have fallen in love and failed, I have missed home and cried, I have been embarrassed because no one understood me speaking Italian (still working on that ;))…but these are all experiences that I would not change for anything. I am learning to live day by day and just accept life, live life. And although most of my friends are starting their lives with their new jobs and husbands, my time will come for that…until then, I need to make the most of it, stop worrying, and realize that I only have one life to live… :) Glad to see that others feel the same.

  159. Great post, I can remember feeling that way at 25 and 33. Those nagging life benchmarks and comparisons to those around you on similar (and different) trajectories can can creep up more than once. I hope that you have embraced the “you” that you are now, and also that are you continually becoming. We all should. We are the sum of our experiences, whether that is jumping in a plane in heading off to Paris or going smaller scale and breaking the boundaries of limitations we have put on ourselves. Or ruts that we have grown comfortable in, but aren’t satisfied with- no matter our age. Good luck in your journey!

  160. Lovely narrative, and I do understand your perspective. I have also read (rather recently, as I’m on sabbatical) the studies mentioned here (in a somewhat less than friendly way) that reflect on the “Gypsy” generation in contrast to the “Greatest Generation”, “Generation X”, and Generation Y”. (Blek, it sounds as though I’m making vegetable soup)

    In short, they propose that the current generation of 20 something’s all feel like they are special little snowflakes who deserve personally rewarding, spiritually fulfilling careers that not only support them, but do so in high style! Also, they allegedly expect this to happen right away because they are especially gifted and talented. (I wish I had the graphic the article used; it was a unicorn puking rainbows)

    This is purportedly in contrast to the “Greatest Generation” who was just so darn happy to have a job, any job that they were delighted with their success and were happy. Unlike our Gypsies, who are doomed to unhappiness because they already EXPECT things to go awesome because they are special- all of which leads them to wander around seeking themselves.

    Now, I’m not saying I agree with all this. But they may have a point. The lower your expectations the greater your chance for positive outcome. Now, here is where I confess I am a member of “Generation X”- the slacker generation. The one who “tuned out”. Who turns out, weren’t such slackers. We are actually the most educated generation-scouts honor. It was scary, I fit the profile-made me a little sick.

    I’m 42. I hate that number. I have no idea what happened to my 20’s. But I felt all those things you are feeling. I feel them now. I think everyone does-or maybe not. I don’t have children; I hate being tied down.

    One of my former students recently expressed doubts about traveling and taking a chance selling her art and quitting her job. I Facebooked her about how proud I was of her- but what I did not mention was how envious I am.

    Yes, you must take care of yourself and your responsibilities. But take your opportunities as they come. Life has many webs that will tie you and they only grow. Choose your ties wisely.

  161. my friend had sent me this post a few days ago and I took so much out of it. needless to say, you basically inspired me to start my own blog. I’m at the age where I have a million things on my mind and I’ve decided to start a blog to help me clear my mind and see if there are others who are going through similar things.

  162. Reblogged this on START IMMEDIATELY and commented:
    Speaking of birthdays: let’s enjoy. this article speaks to what so many of us are always talking about. I’m 25; where am I supposed to be.. and does that “path” make me happy in the grander scheme of my life? I’m starting to feel like quarter-life is that little hangover after the crazy growth in your late teens and early 20s. Not that we’re not still growing, it’s just a much more intellectual, emotional growth; it’s much more intense and demanding.

    Things always appear differently with the freshness of a deep breath.

  163. I love this post. My relationship of 4 and a half years (I’m 25) just ended and it was scary because I had thought the guy was the one. It was a failing long distance relationship but we were both afraid of letting go.. to have to face the unknown… and to choose a path where you would have to walk alone. I read this post before our break up and am reading it again. It’s reminding me that our decision was correct, because you should never settle for a relationship that you’re unhappy in out of fear that you’ve already invested too much time.. and out of fear that you’re running out of time to find someone else. In reality, 25 is an age of self discovery, and it’s also a great time to be single.

  164. For most of the questions that mess with my mind at this tricky age of 24…I found an answer in this article. Thank you for an inspiring read and congrats on having your eyes wide open to what’s next. You are the proof that we still have people who refuse to settle on an idea, just because it’s what everybody’s doing. You are one of the few who have more life in their years then years in their life. All the best!

  165. Wow! This article really hit home for me. I turn 25 this month and many of the things listed in this article have been on my mind lately. I’m glad to read through the blog post and through the comments underneath that I am NOT the only one going through this odd ‘is this where I should be in life’ dilemma. Reading this article reminded me that we are all made different and we all have our own goals and plans in life. It is just a matter of living out your life to the fullest and doing what is best for you. No reason to try to fit in with the Jone’s (or in my case, the typical southern way of life) when you can just be your own person and be just as happy and content about life as everyone else is. I’ll need to remember this article on days I’m being hard on myself and just be thankful for how blessed I am for all the wonderful things I already have in life and also for the goals I am currently reaching to achieve.

  166. when I’ve read this post… It felt like looking myself at the mirror. this is what we call quarter life crisis. This is what happened when the idealism we generated during our younger years does not match with the current status of our life. The keypoint here is, Choose to be happy. How? Dont try to compare yourself with others. Dont compete with other people but compete with the situation and beat your older self.

  167. Jessica, this post is beyond amazing and SO very truthful!! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. I couldn’t agree more!! Life is so short and is there to be lived to the fullest no matter what your age. When i was younger i also had many ideas of what life would be like at age 26 (which is what i am now) and boy was I wrong.. but i have realised that is ok! I am beyond happy and content with my life just the way it is now, even if it is completely different to many people around me. It is my story and I wouldn’t have it any other way :-) x

  168. Awesome. I write about the same thing. Follow your treasures, follow your own morbid innocence. These things disappear quicker than a fleeting moment of eye contact with someone aboard a high speed train, so stay vigilant: Its actually not that hard to catch it as it flies by….

  169. My friend Maha shared this on Facebook, and when I read it I couldn’t help but feel wistful. I want to do all the things you’ve mentioned. That’s the kind of dreaming I have been doing most of my life. But I can’t help but feel that it isn’t going to happen. I am so caught up with making the future worth living that it is hard to just live right now. With exams to give, money to earn and a career to find and build – who can afford to pick up and take a world tour? (Financially and otherwise.) I don’t know. I hope one day it happens, but for now it seems like a long stretch.

    Btw, I loved this paragraph:

    “and when you’re in your twenties, i hope you buy a plane ticket to paris. i hope you get lost wandering all of the streets. i hope you travel the world and read lots of new books. i hope you have interesting conversations over warm cups of tea. i hope you drink out of mason jars while dancing barefoot in the grass. i hope you have a water fight in central park. set goals and change them. quit your day job.”

  170. I’m 72 years old and I’m not through yet. I went to a casting call for a short horror film and got the lead role! I haven’t had so much fun in years.
    Never think that old age is a bad thing. You are always you, and life is what happens. You can’t control everything, believe me. Love is a good thing, always.

  171. A really fantastic and inspirational post. I entirely agree, we are very much pressured in our twenties to be a certain way, even if that way is being all “free” and “happy go lucky”!

    I look forward to reading more from you.

  172. Reblogged this on experientially and commented:
    Amazing, and so true!
    We constantly feel the pressure of our age. It’s a constant tug-of-war between inner child and future adult in us. Age is just a number and should not define what we’re capable of or not capable. Celebrate the meaning, and the experiences, in life!

  173. What a wonderful post that was very familiar. I am a (late) 20 something and I left a 4 year relationship that wasn’t satisfying me, quit my job, started grad school in a new province where I knew absolutely no one, and it has been scary and amazing.

    I always compare myself to other people my age who are married, have kids, better jobs, seemingly better lives and it’s easy to feel down. But then I remember everything that I bring to the table. That it’s easy to stay in your life, to remain unchanged. It’s easy to wake up everyday and go to a job you don’t like and stay in a relationship which isn’t going anywhere. It’s easy to recognize the source of your unhappiness and incredibly daring to do something about it.

    To all those people who say this is what’s wrong with our generation – realize that we aren’t sitting on the couch watching the days go by and being passive about it. We are floundering and failing – yes – but unless you fail you will never be successful.

    Yes we are messed up. Yes we are trying to figure things out. But we are TRYING.

  174. Reblogged this on The Glitter and Glamour and commented:
    The thoughts in this post on growing up are so inspiring. My favorite line: “hold on. slow down. and breathe in. your age is your age. but more importantly, your life is your life. don’t change your journey so that it matches someone elses”. This is something that everyone can relate to no matter what stage of life they are in. I’m currently going through that stage in life where I’m about to graduate college and I’m trying to figure out what I want to do in life. I feel like this post has a lot of important things that we should always remember throughout our journey.

  175. I found your blog from my friend’s facebook. A very bold and daring perspective but I love it because I totally agree. I almost end my twentysomething phase but I did most of you list, took the free fall – quit the settled job to go to school again and backpack around Europe, travel, enjoy the different things in hectic life in Asia, enjoying the il dolce far niente from Italians, enjoy learning different cultures, making new friends, continually challenging myself to learn new things. I totally agree to live the way you want to rather than what you’re expected to and not to be limited by the age you are numbered. Anyhow, it’s very nice all in all I think it will help a lot of the early twenties that are still looking for what they want in life.

  176. it is true that when you are twenty something, the world can seem so small and everything seem’s like you are within a minute grasp of it. i am now 24 and everything seems so easy for me to reach. but, i tell you what, as you slip by the years, everything seems so much harder to reach, i mean EVERYTHING is much harder to reach. that holiday to the Andomen islands with your surfing boys, or that boys holiday to ibiza, its all too far away because everyone grows the fuck up and gets on with life. all of the comments above ignore the fact that everyone just gets on with life and deals with it. if you are reading this now, you are 1 of 2 people. either A: you are young enough to not give a fuck en which i implore you to go make as many mistake as you possibly can or B: you are too old and you are reading this with such a reticent ideology that you commit yourself to perpetual misery by reading such blogs written by twenty somethings in the hope that it will inspire you into something more than yourself. either way, you will ignore the fact that you are not in a group. yet you are. you are either before shit happens, or you are after shit happens. either way, you will fulfil yourself based on what benefactions you receive as a lame adult. you are either with the facebook, instagram, snapchat masses or you aren’t. either way you are subject to it. its irrelevant. if you are alive in todays modern culture, you have two choices. you exist in our self content, self supportive culture of constant assurance, or not, just get the fuck on with life and deal with the fact that people will be dicks and self absorbed. thats the real battle. give a shit, or not give a shit.

  177. This post is so meaningful. I just kind of entered my 20s. I’m still finding my way through. As of now my goal is to finish college and settle into my new job. But ya, I really do need to start setting goals and fulfilling them. Thanks for such a motivational post!

  178. I love this entry. It’s what I go through every day because I’m about to be 27 and am single, with no kids and until recently, lived with parents. (They moved to Florida otherwise they’d still be here) Your post was quite refreshing and just made me feel like, You know what, its okay!!! Thank you for that….

    Lucky for me though, I can say I have been to France and have gotten lost in the streets. And it was by far the most amazing time of my life!

  179. I’ve never written a reply on a blog before but, as I’ve just turned 25 and feel exactly as you’ve so eloquently written, now I can at least tick off another something unplanned. Very good blog. Thanks.

  180. This past weekend I turned 23 and because I’m still an undergrad (on the five year plan) it made me feel so left behind compared to my other friends my age (or younger). My best friend turned 21 the same day and I couldn’t help but feel like I was in the wrong place for my age or that I was missing out on something because I hadn’t graduated yet or gotten engaged to my long time boyfriend yet or gotten a job. I am so, so happy I stumbled upon this blog today because I needed this. Its always helpful to know that not only am I not alone in feeling like this but also that its okay to be doing whatever is comfortable to me and that I don’t have to abide by some magic number equation for life. Thank you so much for sharing this, it really hit home for me! :)

    1. Katie, you’re not alone! 23 year old undergrad student here! I’ll graduate when I’m 25, because I decided that Geology was way more interesting than the Nursing degree everyone thought I should’ve gotten.

  181. You are well and truly inspirational, both you and your words. Thank you for making me and hundreds of others feel extremely empowered. I absolutely love this post and cannot share it enough times with others. I hope you get a chance to read mine when you’re free! hashtagblessed.wordpress.com xxxx

  182. Take a bow…well written…and a sincere reflection of your pure heart.

    Note: I don’t know your name nor I have seen your picture…
    Nor do I know your gender…while I am writing this comment…

    All I know is that you have a young vibrating heart… Live Long…and Enjoy..

    1. I just went to Paris over the summer for a program at Parsons so this really resonated with me. I enjoyed wandering the streets & going to five museums in one day all on my own while there. I learned a lot! I have saved this article on my phone for months cause I didn’t want to lose the blog entry. I love reading it over & over. As everyone else has exclaimed, it is truly inspiring! It reminds me of how much I need to just stay myself & do things that only make life better. When you mentioned quitting your day job, I definitely can relate to wanting to & am looking forward to doing so soon!:) After less than a dollar raise in the 2 & half years I have been there, for more reasons than one it’s time for me to move on from the job. Thanks for writing an excepttional & moving blog! Keep it up;)

  183. Hi Jessica,
    I randomly just came across your blog and I must say i bloody love this post in particular..!
    So many good lines really, hats off!! Best post i read in ages.
    “Don’t change your journey so that it matches someone else’s. We need to walk different paths so the whole world can be explored.”
    I loved this one so much that i incorporated it in my latest post, hope you won’t be mad at me for that but it was just the best i could have ended my post with, reflecting exactly how i feel these days..!
    Thanks for being so inspiring! =)

  184. thank you so much for writing this blog. i am 27 and single and everyone i know seems to believe that i should be married by now. i was in a relationship for 5 years but ended it because i deserve to marry someone who loves me. it was a hard decision to make because i was “supposed” to be married by this age but the best decision i made in my life. i am too special to live an ordinary life and my age number will not control me. if i ever forget this, i will come back to this blog so i can remind myself that my age is just a number. thank you again for the inspiration.

  185. Wow, you are such a good writer. I couldn’t stop read! I found a little piece of your text from somewhere online and it took me here. When i started to read i couldnt stop. This is so inspiring and I think a lots of people feel like this. Atleast i did, it felt like you wrote down what i felt but couldnt explain. I just turned 26 and started to studying this year, Your text really made me feel good and calm to not be the only one having other thought or not fit the frame of how ur life should be in your 20s somehting.

  186. Someone posted this on FB and it is exactly how I feel! At 23, I’m stuck in a job I don’t enjoy (but it’s the right industry so should really stay until I can move on), living at home, single, and studying for a part-time MA. Because of my family relationship history (parents/aunts/uncles all meeting at uni) I put so much pressure on myself to do the ‘right thing, the right way’ that I seem to lose sight on what I want to do – thank you so much for writing this post and giving some much needed perspective!! x

  187. I really had a hard time reading that because of the grammar errors. It felt like I was reading one big run on sentence. I’d like to think I got the meaning of your post but somehow I don’t think I did.

  188. Wow. I don’t feel any expectation with age. LIfe has possibilites at any age and it’s up to you to take it.
    Bad health can take life choices away in a heartbeat. That’s what you should worry about – not age.

  189. Wow, I needed this today. At the point where you write hold on, slow down, and breathe in, I had to stop and catch my breath because I was feeling emotional and overwhelmed because this is exactly how I feel at age 25. My closest friend just told me that she and her husband are planning to have a baby soon. She is a year older than me. I am 25 about to be 26 in December and my boyfriend is 34. We are both happy and content in our relationship. I think about marriage and kids but I don’t see it in my near future. I can’t help but feel nervous and scared that my friendship with her will change. She lives a few hours away from me-she used to live local, that is how we became friends at age 17. We’ve recently started to make more time for each other by taking trips, going to concerts and events together (now that we both have good jobs and can afford it lol) After she told me her plans I immediately went to Google to find how to not be nervous or jealous about friends getting engaged/married/pregnant before you and I stumbled upon your blog and I’m so glad I did. :) I try every day to focus on me being happy and living my life how I choose to live it, not as society tells us we should.

  190. Hi there, a friend of mine published your post. Today I turn 46 and even if you are toalking about twentysomething, it is the way that I feel. I love your inspiring words!

  191. The thought is there, but honestly…living your life differently and choosing the road less travelled by, means very little if you’re not giving yourself or dedicating yourself to something. it doesn’t need to be working from 9-5 in cubicle or popping up babies by 25. But honestly as a 28 year old woman who has been to my fair share of weddings I don’t think delaying marriage and settling down at 25 is anything to shout or preach about (talk to the world in 10-15 years- you and I are both far too young to add something other the world-traveler entitlement to this conversation. Telling people to ditch their jobs and travel the world even when most twentysomethings of tens of thousands student loans to pay off…is well just writing to a very select audience. People only get to travel as a twentysomething if Mommy or Daddy paid for college or they managed to snag a great scholarship… ).

    And if you’re fortunate enough to travel as a twentysomething it’s not about exploring streets, or drinking tea, or writing a novel, it’s about changing something, making a difference, adding some value- no matter how small or insignificant.

    I’ve been fortunate to travel the world and delay marriage and see a lot of amazing things (I fall into that entitled and very, very fortunate international scholarship category). But that’s not enough, it’s figuring out what I’m going to make of my life- that’s the value of coffee in Paris or in India or in South Africa or in Pakistan or in NYC. It’s introspection and it’s fun and it’s sacrifice and it’s humility and it’s detaching yourself from your obligations sometimes and then taking on responsibilities and goals and acting on you beliefs.

    And I’m sorry anyone who accomplished their life goals by the age of 25… needs more ambition and less self-satisfaction ;)

    ***** Women. Voices. Amplified. ****

  192. I think you are making wise & wonderful choices. I did what was expected in my 20’s & cried all the way through. My only salvation in my 20’s was my 3 beautiful children. With the advice & help of a marriage counsellor,I left my then husband & pursued all the beautiful things I had always wanted to do,In my mid 30’s onwards. I continued to have the stability of my Nursing work for nearly 40 years as well, & was able to work hours to fit in with my family & lifestyle. This I will never regret. It was against all traditional beliefs & have had a roller coaster life ever since. I am now in my 60’s & have 3 fabulous children & 2 great son in laws, & 4 absolutely beautiful grand children….all close by that I spend every day with most of them & one family I see regularly as well. I have been studying fashion design this year, & have been pursuing a business in the arts for a few years now, designing /making clothes/accessories, painting pictures, & at times sculpting miniature dolls….all things I am passionate about. I have the love & sharing of family…far richer than anything else I could think of.

  193. Reading this post makes me feel that having a job and trying to just pay my bills means that my life is stagnant. I often feel discontent with where I am in my life, but what do you do if you don’t know what it is you should really be doing? How do you just up and leave for somewhere else when you can barely pay your own bills? Posts like this make me feel like I’m wasting my life but I honestly don’t know how to change that.

  194. this is such a great post.
    I have been thinking about this a lot the last month or so.

    we need to be faithful to what we want to see happen in this world, not what the world wants to see happen in us!
    I love it.
    Thank you!

  195. I found the discussion from the comments as interesting as the blog! Everyone had excellent thought provoking points!
    The most interesting theme sealed to be that the majority of us feel the same, one way or another.
    We question our own path because someone else does… Interesting thought!
    – I was totally in love and married at 21, with a baby at 23… And all that comes with that. I was the first of all my friends for both and struggled, not with our choices but other people acceptance of those choices…
    People said we were too young, we should travel first, children are for the rest of your life etc etc…
    I absolutely love being married young and growing withy husband. And our child has completly changed us both for the better! Yes there are times when we all question ourselves but I know that those things are right for me.
    Interestingly, my sister was the opposite…
    She travelled the world lived in other countries as an aupair and studied arts. She was nearly out of her twenties before she met someone who was to become her husband. She was career and travel… And she questioned her path too even though she loved it… She wondered if she was wasting time as she wanted a family too…
    The interesting thing is what we chose was perfect for us regardless, and both our stories are still been written. There is so much life left to be lived and we can only shrug off comments of the contrary and be blissfully happy with where we are at! All the greatest blessings still require our constant effort. Look to the future with plans and dreams but also Love where you are and the people with you right now. Bless your family, be grateful for your job even if its hard, and when you leave to explore new things leave well! Follow YOUR path and don’t be envious of other people’s, that’s how we get off track. If you can’t travel yet, find the beauty in your own backyard :-) there is much to explore and even more to be grateful for!
    Be blessed and full of Love…

  196. I some how came across your blog Jessica on “because im a twentysomething” And I just want to say thank you ! It gave me a new perspective on how I view my life am currently 25 and tend to over analyze everything such as my life, I been with my boyfriend for about 8 years and have friends who have gotten married, kids, and I always get ask the question “when are you getting married/kids ” and will always say someday. And its not because I don’t love my boyfriend but its because I never knew or until this day don’t know what I want to do in life. Reading your article made me realize am not alone I don’t have to follow the typical tradition of getting married young having kids. It made me realize i want to travel with my boyfriend/ friends and experience new things. I’ve always wanted to travel but always shut it down because of work and money, now I know this is the perfect time to have fun and not worry about the cost- not to say am going to go crazy and in debt but know that I can travel within a budget and not everything is about being responsible its about having fun. So with that said Thank you!!

  197. This whole article is like something out of my head! The first part describes how I am feeling and then the bit that said “to live your life the way you want to, rather than they way you are expected to. especially if that means taking a big jump. and especially when that jump may feel like a free fall”….. YES! I just decided to move from New Zealand to live in Colorado. I have been nervous and wondering if it was the right decision. Then I read this. Thank you so much!

  198. I’ve read the responses, specifically some of the more critical ones, and feel the need to respond myself as I feel they have missed the boat. This was a beautifully written blog and as a “thirtysomething” it still hit home for me in so many ways. I am married and have a thriving career with a great company, so some of my current goals may be different than someone who is just starting on their “twentysomething” journey, but that doesn’t change the way your words can inspire others. For instance, I myself, will not be picking up my life and moving to Australia for a year (although that sounds so wonderful!) but I can always be reminded to “to live your life the way you want to, rather than they way you are expected to”. I hope everyone will “buy a plane ticket to paris, get lost wandering all of the streets, travel the world and read lots of new books, have interesting conversations over warm cups of tea, drink out of mason jars while dancing barefoot in the grass, have a water fight in central park, set goals and change them,” and if they’re not these exact choices, than they’re the choices that would fill them personally with joy – which I think is your point. Do what makes you joyous – whatever that may be.

    More than anything, for me, I needed to be reminded that “your life is your life. don’t change your journey so that it matches someone elses. we need to walk different paths so the whole world can be explored. revel in the differences. and enjoy where you are.” I needed to be reminded that the decisions that my husband and I make for our family, our jobs, our vacations, our finances, our budget, our joy – they’re ours, they’re our journey. As well meaning as family and friends can be – it’s not their journey or path – it’s ours.

    Thank you. For reminding me of this. You will never know how much it was needed on a night like tonight. Keep writing, keep inspiring. You will forever have a reader in me.

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  200. At 44 years old, I love this!
    Age is a number that should not dictate how you want to live!
    As for me, I’m off to Rome this summer by myself. Family doesn’t want to go and that’s alright, I love stepping out of comfort zones. Then off to the mountains and the coast!

    Again, love this article of yours, keep it up

  201. Super post. I felt the same, have fun in my twenties but now that I have crept over the 30 mark I feel I shouldnt be confined what other people think of what I should do. Thanks again.

  202. Thank you!! I’m 24 and have always wanted to travel but I’ve had an anxiety disorder and depression since I was a teenager which explodes in panic attacks when I’m in unfamiliar situations. As a result of a mental breakdown at 22, I left my job and moved back home. After being on medication for a year, in therapy twice, I’m now in a new (and much, much better) job and back on my feet. My goal is to travel on my own even for just a short break (I live in the UK so I can go to France for a weekend). But you’re right, I will do it when I am good and ready to, not just because I feel I should because I’m twentysomething.

    1. Here I am at almost 62 reading this and I agree that it’s pretty spot on. That’s how I have done things. Life throws all sorts of things your way as the years roll on and the more flexible and ready to roll with events while still having your eye on your goals the easier it will be. Easier but but not easy. Life is meant to be challenging.
      Also by doing life with this approach you wont have regrets.

  203. Reblogged this on abdulj and commented:
    I’ve never reblogged anything before, but this post I stumbled on via Facebook basically caught me right where I’m at in life right now. But I guess it goes for everyone when you consider the closing point it makes. Live young, live every day. Be.

  204. I couldn’t agree more with you. At 24 I was totally happy with my life, I am from the UK and was living in Australia, moving from one contract job to another, from one city to another and I was loving it. Then 25 hit..shit! I have friends suddenly that are married, having babies, buying houses. I’m the single one that is always invited to couples dinner parties, I’m missing everything being away from home, people passing away, people being born. I panicked. I got a steady job and began to work out a plan and to start saving, I got health Insurance, retirement plan and arranged to invest in a flat in London in two years with my brother. The age really does define you, but now at 26 I’m slowly coming to realise that age isn’t what it was. It’s what you are as a person, not the age you are. I’m happy as I am. I am taking the leap to move home, but not because society says I should stop all that travelling and start being responsible. Just because I choose to start a new chapter and see where life takes me. It’s exciting and I love it.

  205. As a 20 something myself it was somewhat of an inspiring read! I have spent the last 12 months attending 4 weddings and watching 2 babies arrive – all within a very close circle of friends. I have moved ‘back home,’ quite literally and ended a 5 and a half year relationship. I am now planning a big leap of faith of my own – a move across the Atlantic to Canada. Watch this space …………………………..

  206. Just because you are so young, you don’t have to be afraid of anything :) I am also at my twenty and I do everything I want. I go out at nights often, I even have a list of places I have visited, you can see it here- Klubai Kaune :) And I will not stop :) I will fill it until I will find suitable man for me :)

  207. Thank you for sharing you writing! I can relate all to well to the uncertainty that comes with being in your 20s, and have recently been trying to challenge myself to not be afraid of taking risks (no matter how small) and avoid feeling the need to have my life all figured out.

    For anyone else in the same situation, I recently wrote some thoughts about this and would love to hear what you think: http://nicoledalessandro.com/2014/02/16/thinking-in-bed/

  208. Thank you for making me smile today. I am turning 26 next month and i was really not looking forward to it. Your blog was really inspiring and I have decided to celebrate my bday in the biggest way ever. Soemtimes few sad moments makes us forget the awesome things we have doen /achieved in life. thanks for bringing it all back to me.

  209. How funny that all the negative comments remarking, “You have to realise you’re not a child anymore”, “you’re a gypsy generation”, “you can’t just hope for the best all the time and expect things to come your way”….they’re all exactly what you talk about in your blog. Expectations placed on you that try to mould the way you live your life.
    I, for one, absolutely love this post. It’s exactly what I needed to read at this point in my life, where I have recently turned 26, am single, and am attending all my friends’ weddings and cradling their babies. I have had the minor, down-the-rabbit-hole moments where I panic a little about my 20’s slipping away with nothing substantial to show for it. That might be one of the reasons I have booked myself a one way ticket to England (I’m in Australia), to visit some family and tour around Europe and see what comes my way.
    Who cares if that makes me a ‘gypsy’? I certainly don’t care. I have saved hard for the trip, I cannot wait to go, and once I am finished travelling at the end of the year, I’ll search for work and go wherever I find it. I won’t be depending on the dole or anything to get by, and if it all goes to shit, I’ll come home and figure out what to do then.
    I think it’s a very good message to live your life according to the person you are at this moment in time, rather than the age you are. If that makes sense. It’s certainly comforting to me.
    Thanks for your post, keep up the good work :)

  210. Right Im writing this book and planning à trip somewhere because i have no excuse not to… And i may…no will get my craft and cooking blog set up. This post had made so much sensé. Im 24 and i dont need to act like it :)

  211. I really enjoyed reading this article. I’m in my twenties and feel exactly the same way. We spend so much time worrying about the future that we don’t take time to enjoy the now! Thanks :)

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  213. Great article. Being 29, I’ve heard it all….”You don’t want to get married or have kids??” That’s all I hear!! I am finally taking control of my life after years of not accepting myself and it feels great! And it doesn’t include kids or marriage. This article made me feel even better about it.

    1. Hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and re-blogged. Being towards the back end of my 20s, this is something that I work on constantly reminding myself, my friends, and my family. Age is just a number – but your experience creates who you are! Great reminder for this Tuesday, can’t wait to keep following along! :)

  214. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get past the first paragraph. And to all of the white knights who are prepared to attack, I’m 27, so I’m not some grumpy old fart. I’m in the same age group as you. Still I’ll never understand how anyone can expect to be taken seriously as a writer when they don’t use basic grammar and punctuation- especially an adult. Trying to read this was like reading some vapid teenager’s lazy facebook post or youtube comment. Even worse, it could be one of the xanga journals from when we were high-school aged. Just because we’re on the internet is no excuse. I know you’re smarter than this. Constructive criticism here; If you want people to take you and your blog seriously, put more effort into the basics.

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